Human
by BittyAB18
Summary: Clarke Griffin fell in love twice in the same day when she was fourteen. It was also the first time her heart broke because of a boy named Bellamy Blake. He was her best friend's older brother, and she shouldn't like him. Gradually over the years, Bellamy installed himself into her life, until Clarke was unsure who was a more important Octavia or him. Bellarke. Modern AU story.
1. Chapter 1

Human

Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar. I do not own the wonderful characters of The 100, nor do I own any of the lyrics/songs I use in this fic.**

**Author's Note: I know that many of my readers are not members with this fandom, but I couldn't keep myself from starting this. I'm a Bellarke fan, but this story will include a number of couples. It is also AU, because I'm not sure that I would be able to do the dystopian world justice. It is set in modern day. It will include several of our favorite characters, as well as a few original characters. In this story, Bellamy is only three years older than Clarke and Octavia. Also, I have no idea what time **_**America's Next Top Model**_** came on during the first season, so for the sake of this chapter, please pretend it was eight pm, okay?**

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><p>Clarke fell in love twice when she was fourteen. The first time she fell in love, it was when she was walking around in the mall with her best friend, Octavia. O had drug her into a music store to pick up the new Avril Lavigne CD. While the brunette was sliding her fingers over the plastic cases, Clarke had wandered down the aisle to the back of the store. There, she came across the prettiest acoustic guitar. She stroked her fingers across the yellow wood, closing her eyes at the smooth feel. She opened her eyes as her fingers stroked to the strings, smiling at the bite that they left on the tips and the honeyed sound filled her ears. It was in that moment that she truly fell in love with music.<p>

For as long as she could remember, her mother had practically grooming her to be a doctor, just like her. Her father had died when she was younger, and she remembered when she would lie in the bed beside him after she got home from school, and he would hum old Beatles songs to her as she hugged him close. After her father died, Clarke had become preoccupied with science, biology, cells, trying to understand how the slightest perversion in the splitting of cells had resulted in such an ugly disease and ugly death in one of the most special people in her world. She asked a multitude of questions that her young eight year old mind could form, and it was then that her mother decided that she should be a doctor. It wasn't like Clarke didn't enjoy science or like the idea of studying and hopefully curing cancer, because it meant that young girls and boys like herself would have to lose their lives or the lives of their loved ones-but her mother took advantage of Clarke's grief to push her own career onto her young daughter.

As Clarke stroked her fingers over the strings, enjoying the sound and feel of the vibrations through her entire body, the store clerk came over to her. "Hello, miss. Are you interested in the guitar?" She pulled her hand back from the guitar, almost as if the strings burned her, a flush on her cheeks from getting caught admiring it.

"Um, I...I gotta go." She rushed away from the clerk, back to Octavia. "O, you find your CD? I'm starved."

"Cool it, Griffin." Octavia rolled her eyes. "I just need to pay for it." Clarke nodded her head, following her friend to the cash register. She blushed when she realized it was the same clerk as before. He rung up Octavia's purchase before passing Clarke a flyer. She furrowed her brow as she studied it.

"I give lessons here, ten bucks an hour, if you're interested. You buy a years worth of lessons, you get a fifty percent discount on a guitar of your choice." Her green eyes traced the clerk's face. "You know, if your parents say it's okay…" She bit her lip, nodding her head.

As she and Octavia walked out of the store, Clarke thought about how she would ask her mother if she could do lessons. "You wanna learn how to play the guitar?" O asked her as the two of them walked towards the Friendly's that was a few stores down from the music store. "Think Abby would be chill with you taking lessons? Wouldn't it get in the way of geek club?"

Clarke shot Octavia a glare. "It's science club." She snapped, following the waitress who led them to the small table in the back of the store. She opened the menu, studying the food options.

"You know I love you, but it's geek club, Clarke. Now, if you became a rockstar, that'd be cool." Clarke glared at her friend over the menu. "So, how're you gonna ask Abby?" Octavia tapped her blood red fingernail tip on the cover of her own menu. "What if you said summin about it being well-rounded and Harvard liking that kinda thing or summin?" Clarke bit her lip. Could that actually work? Her mom was always pushing her to join the debate team or the poetry club (she liked the poetry club a lot, so it wasn't that bad when she joined that, but debate team would have meant that she was the definition of a nerd), and she was able to convince her mom to let her take art as her elective classes, so maybe it wouldn't be too bad to convince her to let Clarke take guitar lessons.

"Maybe…" Clarke shrugged. "Wanna split cheese fries?" Octavia grinned, nodding her head.

"Totally," she said, glancing at her watch, groaning when she saw the time. "I gotta leave in about an hour, okay? Do you think we can hit Victoria's Secret before we get the bus home?"

Clarke cocked an eyebrow at her friend, running a hand through her messy blond waves. "Why do you have to leave so early?"

"My half-brother, Bellamy, is getting home today. He's on a break from his military school-spring break or whatever." Octavia rolled her eyes. "He's annoying, so I wanna freak him out by buying a bunch of thongs or whatever. I can picture it now." O deepened her voice into her impression of her older brother's voice. "Oh, what the hell is this, Octavia. You're fourteen, for fuck's sake." Clarke giggled, both at Octavia's impression and the language that her friend used. A lot of freshmen at school used the same language as her friend, Octavia included, but Clarke never did. She barely said the words _hell_ or _damn_ without blushing.

"I'd love to see that? Maybe I can stop by after dinner, yeah? Pull the thongs out then?" Octavia's eyes flashed as she clapped her hands.

"But, of course, dah-ling." O said, blowing Clarke a kiss. "Wanna split a strawberry milkshake, too?"

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><p>"But, Mom, Harvard would love it if I were to add on to my application that I can play the guitar, too." Clarke tried, as she washed the dishes after dinner that night. Abby sighed, as she looked through the mail at the kitchen table.<p>

"Clarke, I'm not sure your schedule could fit guitar lessons into it. You've got science club every Monday and Wednesday after school until four-thirty, chemistry club on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and poetry club on Fridays." Clarke frowned, studying the soapy water that her hands were currently immersed in. "You get enough diversity with the art and poetry lessons. If you're going to add something into your schedule, add Latin club or the debate team." Clarke chewed on her bottom lip. "Plus, you've got all honors and advanced placement classes, and I'm sure there is a lot of homework involved with those classes."

"But, Mom, if I were to join either one of those clubs, I would have to drop science club or chemistry club, because the debate team meets on Mondays and Thursdays, and Latin club is on Tuesdays and Wednesdays." Okay, so she was sobbing, because a few of the kids from the science and chemistry clubs, like Monty and Jasper, were able to do other clubs, like robotics (Monty) and ROTC (Jasper). "The music lessons could be before or after dinner. It wouldn't get in the way of school or any of the other clubs I'm in." She pulled her hands from the water and quickly wiped them on the towel lying on the counter beside the sink. She walked over to her mom, laying her own hand on her mother's slender arm. "Please, Mom? I really want to learn how to play the guitar." She had one more bullet in her arsenal, and she almost felt guilty pulling it out now. "It'd make me feel close to Dad. He used to sing those Beatles songs to me, and I just...I wanna learn how to play them. I feel like it'd make him feel proud."

Abby Griffin sighed, dropping the bill in her hand and turning to face her daughter. She reached out, tucking a blond lock of Clarke's hair behind her ear. "You look so much like your father." Abby whispered, smiling sadly. Clarke leaned her cheek against her mother's hand. "This won't be like the violin, right?" Clarke blushed, biting her bottom lip. She had begged her mom to learn how to play the violin in third grade, but she lost interest after about a month. She shook her head.

"Promise. I'll stick with the guitar until high school is through. I swear." She held her pinky out to her mom. "Pinky swear."

Her mother chuckled, interlocking their pinky fingers. "Kiss on it." They both leaned forward, pressing kisses to their hands, their pinky fingers still tangled, locking the promise to each other. Clarke leaned back, squealing. She pulled her finger from her mom's, throwing both arms around her mother's neck.

"I love you! I love you! I love you!" Abby laughed as she hugged Clarke tightly in her arms.

"You better," she joked, letting her daughter slip from her arms.

"I have to go tell O! Can I go over to her house? Please? Please?" Abby sighed, shaking her head at her daughter, a smile on her face.

"Be home by eight."

"But, Mom! Tonight's _America's Next Top Model_! It's our favorite show!"

"Fine! Be home by nine-thirty. If you need a ride, call me!"

"I'm gonna take my bike, and if Mrs. Blake doesn't let me ride home, she'll give me a ride. Oh, and Octavia's older brother is home for a break, so he might be able to drive me home."

"Octavia's older brother?"

"Her half-brother. Bellamy. He's in military school."

"Joy. He's one of _those_ boys." Clarke frowned, confused what her mom meant. "If you need a ride home, call me." She said, dropping a kiss on Clarke's head. "Are you done with the dishes?" Clarke frowned, because she wasn't. Abby rolled her eyes. "I'll finish up tonight." Clarke grinned at her mom, rushing from the kitchen, grabbing her sneakers. She pulled them on, haphazardly tying the laces, before she grabbed her helmet from where it hung by the front door. She rushed out the front door and around to the side of the house where her bike was tied up on the metal post her mom had installed on the side of the house.

Clarke unhooked her bike and began pedaling down the street in the direction of Octavia's house. The ride took less than ten minutes, and she jumped from the bike, walking it to rest by the front door of the house. She pressed a button by the door, hearing the chimes ring through the house, alerting the house to her presence. She unclipped the helmet from her chin, tossing the helmet to the ground by her bike, running a hand through her tangled blond waves.

She heard the door open as she kicked the helmet closer to her bike. She glanced up, her green eyes meeting the almond-shaped chocolate-colored eyes of a seventeen or eighteen year old boy. Rather, man, because his arms were thicker than even the senior football players at the high school. His hair was wet and disheveled, and he was shirtless. His chest was muscular, but still lean. She swallowed hard, because even at fourteen, Clarke knew that a boy like this was good-looking, or "drool-worthy" as Octavia liked to say about shirtless guys in the movies they watched. This must be Octavia's older brother, Bellamy.

"Can I help you?" He asked, reaching up to brush a white towel against his hair. She finally snapped out of it, shaking her head.

"Nope, I'm good." She brushed past him. She felt him tense as her bare arm brushed past his. He grabbed at her arm, halting her before she got far.

"Seriously, can I help you?" He stared down at her, and she felt the heat of his hand on her arm.

"Seriously, I'm _good_." Clarke said, rolling her eyes as she pulled her arm from his loose grasp. She made her way to the stairs, popping her head into the doorway of the living room. "Hey, Aurora." She said to Octavia's (and Bellamy's) mother.

"Hey, Clarke, honey. How're you?" Aurora stood up from the couch, setting aside from her knitting. She came forward, wrapping her arms around Clarke and pressing a kiss to the top of the blond's head. "How's your mom?"

"She's good. She actually agreed to let me do something, so I'm super excited to tell Octavia." Aurora chuckled.

"Well, by all means, go tell Octavia, then." She glanced at her son. "Oh, Bellamy, would you put a shirt on?" She turned back to Clarke. "Boys!" She said, shaking her head. Clarke giggled.

"You can't live with 'em; you can't live without 'em, right?" She said, nodding her head at Aurora. Aurora gave a belly-laugh, running a hand down the back of Clarke's head.

"Ain't that the truth, Clarke! Go on up to O's room." She shooed Clarke, who waved at her and rushed up the steps to Octavia's room.

"Yo, O." She said, kicking the door open, toeing off her shoes.

"Clarke, hey!" O said from her bed, where she was painting her toenails a blueberry color. "Do you like?" She said, pointing her foot at the blond. Clarke made her way over, dropping onto the edge of the bed to check the color out.

"Nice. Paint mine next?" Octavia nodded, finishing her foot. Clarke grabbed the remote from where it was lying on the floor and turned on O's TV to UPN, getting ready for the latest episode of _America's Next Top Model_.

"Gimme," O waved her hand to Clarke's foot. "So, do we have good news?"

"She agreed!" Clarke squealed, biting her bottom lip. "Mom's gonna let me take guitar lessons."

"That's awesome. With those poems you write, you're gonna be the next Avril." Clarke shrugged, watching Octavia swipe the blue polish onto her toenails.

"I dunno about that, but I'm excited." The two chattered on and on as they watched their favorite show, talking about who in their grade was cuter, Matt Atom, Wells Jaha, or Finn Collins. As the show came to a close, she heard someone groan in Octavia's doorway. She glanced up, seeing Bellamy standing in the doorway (with a shirt on this time), his arms crossed.

"How can you watch this shit?" Octavia scoffed, turning to Clarke.

"Did you hear something, Clarke?" Clarke chuckled, running a hand through her blond hair.

"I dunno? Maybe it was the commercial?" She asked, shrugging.

"Ha ha! You're both so funny. Mom sent me up to tell you that it's time to close up shop." Octavia pouted and began whining.

"No, it's fine, O. I've gotta be home by nine-thirty, anyways."

"Wait, before you go, help me pick out my outfit tomorrow. Atom's gonna meet up with me during free period, so I gotta look cute." Octavia rushed to her closet. "What about this dress?" She pulled out her tightest dress, and Clarke's eyebrows rose.

"O, you're gonna have major pantylines with that." She felt the blush fill her cheeks, and she felt Bellamy's gaze on her.

"Nah, I'll just wear one of my new thongs with it." She said, winking at Clarke.

"Awww, man, what the fuck, O?! You're just a kid." Clarke giggled.

"See! I knew he'd say that! Didn't I tell you he'd freak out!?" Octavia giggled. "Anyways, you better wear that tank that you bought today to school tomorrow." She demanded, setting the dress aside. "You'll have Finn and Wells drooling…" She winked at Clarke again. "Maybe you'll finally get your first kiss." Clarke flushed bright red, burying her face into her hands.

"Shut it, O." She was completely embarrassed, because Bellamy was still in the doorway, watching them.

"You've had your first kiss, O? Who is the little punk? I'll kick his ass."

"Oh, you leave Jasper alone, Bell." O rolled her eyes. "He's a total geek, like Clarke. In science and chemistry club, like she is."

"Hey! Would ya cut the geek thing." Clarke dropped her hands. "If I wanna get into med school, I need to get as much science experience under my belt as I can get." She stood up, stretching her arms over her head. "I'm out, O. I'll see you tomorrow." The two girls embraced, planting a kiss on each other's cheeks. "'Scuse me." Clarke said to Bellamy, who was still lounging in the doorway.

"You need a lift home? I saw you have your bike…" She chewed on her bottom lip, shrugging her shoulders.

"Sure. Thanks."

"Bellamy, get your own friends and leave mine be!"

"I'm just being nice and giving her a ride home. Shut it, troll." He rolled his eyes at Clarke. "I trust you're a good influence on her?" He asked her, stepping back, letting Clarke push past him again. She shrugged her shoulders.

"She's actually a good influence on me, I think." Clarke said, because it was the truth. Clarke was unbelievably shy as a kid, but when Octavia and her mom moved into town, the two became best friends. Octavia was there for Clarke when her dad died a few months later, and she helped pull Clarke from her shell and into the semi-social fourteen year old she is now. Bellamy groaned behind her.

"I wouldn't call that a good influence, kid." Clarke frowned, freezing. She watched as Bellamy marched past her and down the steps.

"I'm not a kid," she called out to him, following him down the steps. He chuckled, grabbing the car keys that Ms. Blake left by the door.

"Whatever you say, kid." Clarke growled to herself. "You coming?" She followed him, grabbing her bike and helmet and rolled them both to the car, getting Bellamy's help to put it in the backseat of the car.

She climbed into the passenger seat, and she hummed to herself as with the radio as she stared out the window, ignoring the breathing of the handsome older boy sitting beside her. She told him what street she lived on, but he scoffed at her when she tried to give him directions. "I might not live here all the time, but I know my way around the neighborhood, kid."

"I'm not a kid." She snapped, unbuckling her seatbelt when they arrived at her house. He parked the car and whistled at the size of her house.

"Yeah, more like a princess." She rolled her eyes, because that wasn't much better than kid.

"Thanks for the ride," Clarke said, climbing out of the car. She opened the door to the back seat, struggling to pull the bike from it. She felt a hand on her back, and soon Bellamy was nudging her out of the way.

"I got it." He pulled the bike out completely, putting it on the ground beside them. "Hey, Clarke." He stopped her when she tried to roll it past him, waving at him as her way of saying goodbye. She glanced up at him, confused why he was stopping her. Her eyes widened when she felt his warm, slightly chapped lips brush against hers. The kiss was over before it began, and she reached up to touch her lips. She saw him slip a cocky smirk on to his face.

"What was that for?" He held a finger up to his own lips, making a shushing sound.

"My way of getting back at you and O earlier-for the thong thing. I can guess you won't tell O that her big brother kissed you, and she will never know who your real first kiss was…I win." He stepped back, turning around and walked around the car to get into the driver's seat.

Clarke felt her cheeks heat up, and the tears burned her eyes. She pushed the bike as quickly out of the street and up her driveway as she could. She tied it off and continued up the driveway to the backyard and back entrance to house. She ignored the sound of the car starting, and Bellamy driving off. She wiped at her cheeks, trying to compose herself before she went inside the house, not daring to let her mom see her face.

Clarke Griffin fell in love twice in the same day when she was fourteen. It was also the first time her heart broke because of a boy named Bellamy Blake.


	2. Chapter 2

Human

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.**

**Song used in this chapter: **_**Cold As You**_** by Taylor Swift**

**Author's Note: I know that Bellamy was a bit of a dick in the last chapter, but he was a seventeen year old boy. He obviously wasn't thinking about the impact that his actions would have on a fourteen year old girl. Also, he definitely wasn't feeling any attraction to his baby sister's best friend. In his mind, she's a baby, just like his sister is. She's gotta grow up a little bit, first.**

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><p>Clarke slammed the door to her used car that her mom had bought for her sixteenth birthday three months prior. She was one of the only ones in the junior class with a car, and she and O proudly drove around in it, showing off to all of the other kids in their small Virginia town. She had her guitar case in the trunk. She needed to get away from her house, where she left her ex-boyfriend, Wells, sitting on her front step, which brought her to Octavia's house. He'd come over yet again, begging for Clarke's forgiveness, saying that it was a moment of weakness that he'd cheated on her with Harper. Well...well, <em>fuck<em> him. She thought the curse word with pleasure. She didn't actually say those words, but she wanted to. She hated that he brought such rage out of her.

She walked to trunk, grabbing her guitar case and messenger from it, where she had shoved her sheet music into. She wanted to show Octavia her newest song about the saga that was Wells Jaha and Clarke Griffin. She shut the trunk, and it was then that she noticed an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway of the Blake house. She figured that Aurora's latest boyfriend was over for dinner or something. She marched up the front step, not bothering to ring the bell, but instead just walking right into the house.

"O!? Aurora?" She called out, kicking off her gray flip flops.

"Clarke, is that you?" She saw Octavia come out of dining room. Clarke blushed hard when she realized that Octavia, her mom, Bellamy (she didn't let her eyes linger long on him, because her pride still hurt over what he'd done to her two years before, but the jackass wasn't right when he said she wouldn't tell O; of course she told her, because they were best friends!), and some unfamiliar girl. The girl was a redhead, and she looked like a Victoria's Secret model. "What's up?" Clarke dropped her guitar and messenger bag onto the ground and burst into tears. "Oh, Clarke." Octavia said, throwing her arms around Clarke's shoulders.

"Clarke, sweetie? What's wrong?" Aurora jumped up and rushed over to the two hugging girls.

"What happened?" Octavia said, running a hand up and down Clarke's shuddering back.

"He...he...he _cheated_." She wailed, feeling like a total idiot.

"That fucking asshole. I'll kill him." Octavia snapped. "I'll cut his balls off."

"Octavia, is that language necessary?" Aurora muttered. "Clarke, sweetie, let me get you a glass of water? Or, what about lemonade? I have lemonade."

"Seriously, Mom. Clarke doesn't need lemonade. She needs vodka." O said, stepping back from Clarke. "Right, Griffin."

"Nah, make that tequila." Clarke joked, wiping at her cheeks.

"That's my girl."

"Oh, really, you two." Aurora clicked her tongue at them. "C'mon, Clarke. We were eating dinner. Would you like to join us? Bellamy is in town for his fall break, and he invited his girlfriend to dinner. I made a chicken stir fry." Clarke rubbed at her cheeks, thankful that she didn't wear mascara, or she was sure that it would be smeared all over her face by now.

"So, who's the slut he slept with?"

"Octavia!" Aurora admonished, guiding Clarke by the shoulders into the dining room, sitting her down in the empty chair across from Bellamy. The blond barely gave the older boy a nod, gathering her blond waves into a messy bun on the top of her head.

"No, seriously, who's the skank that he hooked up with?" Octavia said, sitting down in her spot next to Clarke. She took a sip of her own lemonade. "Who am I beating the shit out of?"

"Harper." Clarke rolled her eyes. "I swear. She's been all over Wells since he and I began dating a year and a half ago."

"She's obviously jealous, Clarke. You're gorgeous, and she's a fugly ho who is only popular because she's known for being on her knees or her back." Bellamy coughed, choking on his mouthful of lemonade, pounding on his own chest when he put his glass down. Chloe, the redheaded girlfriend, rubbed his back soothingly.

"Jesus, O!" Bellamy gasped at his sister when he was able to speak again.

"What? It's the truth! Look at Clarke." She said, waving her hand at the blond beside her. "And, check out Harper." Octavia pulled her Nokia phone out of her sweatshirt jacket pocket and loaded a picture of their group of female friends. "Harper's the one standing next to Clarke." She held the phone out to her brother. He squinted at the tiny image and then glanced at the blond in front of him.

"Ehh, that Harper chick's not that great." He said noncommittally, glancing at Chloe. Chloe looked irritated as she stabbed at a piece of chicken.

"Here you go, sweetheart." Aurora came back from the kitchen with a plate of food and a lemonade, putting the plate down in front of Clarke.

"Thanks, Aurora." She smiled appreciatively at the woman. "My mom said she planned on calling you this morning to ask you to drinks. She's been super busy at the office, and she feels bad that she had to cancel on girl's night."

"Oh, it's fine. I know she's busy." Aurora waved a hand at Clarke as she headed back to her seat at the head of the table. "So, tell what happened with Wells?"

"Wells is a jerk who slept with Harper, because he had a 'moment of weakness' at Atom's party last weekend." She rolled her eyes. "Apparently, he feels like he couldn't live up to the expectations he's put on himself in his desire to get to my level or some crap like that. It's like he's put me on this pedestal or something and used it as an excuse to cheat on me. He's the _mayor's_ son for heaven's sake! If anyone should be putting someone else on a pedestal, it should be me expecting more of him."

"Maybe you were expecting too much of him?" Bellamy said. All four females at the table gasped and glared at Bellamy. "What? I'm just being honest. Maybe he felt that pressure to be perfect, Princess, and he couldn't handle it anymore. Dude's like sixteen. He's supposed to be sleeping around and having fun, not practically walking down the aisle."

"I'll have you know that I didn't expect him to marry me. I'm sixteen. I've got a hell of a lot of living to do myself." Clarke crossed her arms and glared at him. "And, just because he's sixteen doesn't mean that he has to sleep around. That's actually kind of gross."

"And, that, Princess, is why you're a prude, and why he felt like he couldn't live up to your expectations. He wanted to get it on, and your panties were probably were bunched so far up your ass that he knew he wasn't gonna get it from you." Clarke's jaw dropped, and Aurora snapped "Bellamy!" at her son. Chloe rolled her eyes, shoving a bite of chicken into her mouth. Octavia burst out laughing.

"Sorry, big brother, but if anyone was wearing the chastity belt in Clarke and Wells' relationship, it was _Wells_. I dunno how many times my girl tried to seduce his ass, and the dumbass made some excuse about wanting to save that for marriage or senior prom or some shit." Aurora groaned and buried her face into her hands, muttering something about needing a glass of wine.

"Octavia!" Clarke snapped, smacking her friend's arm.

"What? You pulled out all the stops-the white lacey undies the one time. Oh, and that black corset! Can I borrow that sometime? I fucking love that thing! And, how did he not choke on his own tongue when you wore that light green lace slip thing? I remember when we bought that." Octavia whistled. Clarke whimpered, burying her face into her hands in embarrassment, because _she didn't want Bellamy to know what her sexiest underwear looked like_. She knew she was bright red, for sure.

"Well, damn, Princess. I didn't realize you had it in you." He chuckled, amused by her embarrassment. She dropped her hands and glared at him.

"Stop calling me that."

"I have an idea! Let's stop talking about what Clarke's underwear looks like and turn our attention onto Chloe and Bellamy. So, how did you two start dating?" Aurora said, trying to change the subject.

"Well, it certainly didn't include a green teddy, that's for sure." Chloe said snottily. Clarke narrowed her eyes at the older girl.

"Maybe that's because you don't have the boobs to pull it off." She said before she could stop herself, earning a gleeful laugh from Octavia. Chloe began huffing and muttering something about Clarke being rude.

"That was the best burn I've heard!" Octavia giggled, clapping her hands together. "I love you, Griffin." Clarke blushed red, turning to Aurora. She could feel Bellamy's eyes on her, and it only made her feel more embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Aurora. I'm gonna go upstairs while you guys finish up dinner. Excuse me." She rushed away from the table. She grabbed her guitar and messenger bag and rushed up the steps.

She slipped into Octavia's room, dropping onto the bed. She knew that she should be ashamed of herself for saying what she said to Bellamy's girlfriend, but she _didn't_. She was a little pissed at O for outing some of her most private moments with her ex-boyfriend, but, at the same time, she felt vindicated, because she wasn't some goody-two-shoes prude that Bellamy thought she was. Well, she was still technically a virgin, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. She wanted to have sex just as much as other kids her age. She didn't get why Wells would have sex with Harper when his girlfriend wanted to take the next step. Though, she figured she should be relieved that she didn't lose her virginity to Wells when he was just going to go and hurt her after all.

While she waited for Octavia to come upstairs, she pulled out some blank sheet music and began to work on a new song. She was absorbed in working on her song, she didn't hear someone walk up the steps and enter Octavia's room until the bed dipped and a body entered her vision. She jumped, screwing the chord she was attempting to play at that moment. "Jesus, Bellamy!" She slapped a hand to her chest, trying to regain her breathing.

"Sorry. You're not bad. Play it from the beginning?" He asked her, waving his hand at the guitar. She hesitated, tightening her one hand into a fist.

"Where's Octavia?" Clarke asked Bellamy, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Downstairs, doing the dishes."

"Chloe?"

"She left as soon as dinner ended. I think she's mad at me, because I didn't follow her…" He shrugged. "In fact, her words were, and I quote, 'It's over, Bellamy,' as she stormed out." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I had anything to do with the breakup."

"You had _everything_ to do with it, but it's fine. I wasn't exactly planning on marrying her. Nineteen year olds are just as much interested in sowing their seed as sixteen year olds are." He smirked at her. "Play your song?"

Clarke took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she began the opening chords of the song. She'd never sung to anyone aside from her guitar teacher, Octavia, and her mom. Sure, Wells and the rest of their friends heard her sing along with songs on the radio or something, but she's never really sang for anyone like this. Especially such an intimate song.

"_You have a way of coming easily to me_

_And, when you take, you take the very best of me_

_So, I start a fight cause I need to feel something_

_And, you do what you want, 'cause I'm not what you wanted_

"_Oh, what a shame; what a rainy ending given to a perfect day_

_Just walk away; ain't no use defending words that you will never say_

_Now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_I've never been anywhere cold as you_

"_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray_

_And, I stood there loving you and wished them all away_

_And, you come away with a great little story_

_Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you_

"_Oh, what a shame; what a rainy ending given to a perfect day_

_So, just walk away; ain't no use defending words that you will never say_

_Now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_I've never been anywhere cold as you_

"_You never did give a damn thing, honey, but I cried, cried for you_

_And, I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you_

_Died for you_

"_Oh, what a shame; what a rainy ending given to a perfect day_

_Oh, every smile you fake is so condescending_

_Counting all the scars you made_

_Now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_I've never been anywhere cold as you, oh_."

Clarke ended the song and looked up. She saw Bellamy studying her, and she blushed. She realized in that moment that she still had a crush on him, even though two years had passed since she had last seen him. Her fourteen year old heart had fallen for him the moment she had laid her eyes on him, and it had broken the second he had stolen her first kiss and used it as a tool to play a prank on his younger sister and her sister. She also realized that some of the words she had written could be directed towards him, as well as Wells. She felt him tug the guitar to the side, and before she knew it, his lips were brushing across hers. This time, his kiss was a little more firm, and it lasted a lot longer than the one he had stolen from her a few years before.

They both pulled back when they heard Octavia calling up the stairs that she was bringing ice cream. His eyes traced over her face before he stood up and moved away from the bed. Octavia stilled when she came to her doorway, finding Bellamy trying to leave. She glanced around him at Clarke, who was running her fingers across the chords of the guitar. "I was just telling you friend here that she ruined my relationship, too. Misery must love company or something."

Clarke felt her heart shatter again, because as hurt as she was by Wells cheating on her, he was completely forgotten the moment Bellamy's lips met hers the second time. She didn't understand why he needed to put her down like this every time he wanted to irritate his sister. Octavia furrowed her brow, still studying Clarke. Clarke knew that this time she was going to keep the kiss to herself, and she slipped a mask in place. She rolled her eyes at her friend, flipping off Bellamy's back, making Octavia chuckle.

"Yeah, whatever, big brother." She pushed past Bellamy and made her way over to Clarke. "So, show me this song you've written." She said as she dropped onto the bed beside Clarke, picking up the sheet music. Clarke glanced up, feeling Bellamy's eyes on her, and she saw him, standing in the doorway, watching her for a few moments longer before disappearing again.

Clarke turned back to Octavia, letting out a breath before she gathered up her guitar, ready to play the song a second time for a different Blake. She tried to ignore the way Bellamy was looking at her, because she couldn't help but think he looked _apologetic_ just before he left. But, Bellamy Blake only cared about himself, so as much as she wanted to believe that he didn't mean the harsh words he had said to his sister about her, she didn't trust him.


	3. Chapter 3

Human

Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.**

**Author's Note: Once again, I'm sorry to make Bellamy such a jerk, but he's a nineteen year old, angry kid, and he likes taking things out on people like Clarke, because he thinks that they've got this perfect, happy life. But, Clarke helps him realize that he doesn't know anything. Also, Clarke is not as innocent as she seems, which is what Bellamy's starting to realize.**

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><p>The next time that Clarke Griffin found herself face to face with Bellamy Blake was in the second week of December, about two months later. Bellamy was home, following his first semester at Georgetown. She was actually shocked that the was able to get into Georgetown, especially because Octavia had always talked about how her annoying older brother was always fucking up at school, which is why he wound up in military school for most of his schooling. Apparently, Bellamy excelled in military school, because now he was at Georgetown, studying political science. Something told Clarke that he was enough of a pompous ass to fancy himself a future president or something.<p>

She rolled her eyes when the door to the Blake house flew open, and she didn't even get a chance to open it and walk in herself. He grinned at her, blocking her entry into the house. Her arms loaded down with her guitar, her sleeping bag, her backpack, and her pillow. Her pajama bottoms were tucked messily into her fuzzy, warm boots, and her coat was buttoned up tight, trying to keep the cool from slipping in. "You know, you really shouldn't just come barreling into houses you don't live in, Princess."

"And, you really should learn some manners." She responded, shifting her weight. "Can you move? Since my mom and Aurora are away for a ladies' spa weekend, I'm sleeping here. This is heavy." She muttered. Bellamy sighed, crossing his arms, not moving.

"I need the password, Princess."

"You're a jackass!"

"Nope. That's not it."

"Screw you, Bellamy. Move."

"That's definitely not it...although, if you're offering…" He winked at her, and she scoffed. "No, to be honest, the password is less of a _word_ and more of an action." He stepped forward, his body flush against hers (well, her pillow and sleeping bag). "You want in the house, you've gotta pay the toll."

"And, what is the toll?" She asked him with an eye roll. His eyes slipped down to her lips, and she felt her cheeks warm, but she hoped that they only looked flush from the cold.

"You've got to kiss me, Princess. One kiss, and I'll let you in." She didn't know why he was messing with her, and it was obvious that he was, based on the amused smirk that was gracing his face.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at him before she turned around and headed back towards her car. She fumbled with the keys in her hand, trying to shove it into the lock that she couldn't quite see. "Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'm going home. Octavia can come over to mine and spend the night there, instead!" She said, finally succeeding in getting the door unlocked and opened. She dumped all of her stuff into the back seat and jumped into the driver's seat. She drove off, watching a smug Bellamy wave goodbye at her from the doorway. Jackass.

* * *

><p>Several hours later, Octavia was passed out in Clarke's queen size bed, and she snuck out of the room and down the steps. She walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator, grabbing the water purifying pitcher from it to pour herself a glass of water. She had just finished pouring the glass and returned the pitcher to the fridge when she heard a tapping sound at the backdoor. She jumped, nearly dropping her glass. Her green eyes flashed when she saw Bellamy Blake tapping a single finger against the glass.<p>

She contemplated just walking away, ignoring him, but she couldn't help but be curious about what he wanted. She set her water glass down on the counter before crossing her arms and studying his nonchalant stance as he smirked at her and waved at her. She let out a breath, walking to the back door. She kept her arms crossed, staring at him, waiting before opening the door. He sighed, rolling his eyes, wrapping his arms more tightly around himself.

"C'mon, Princess. It's cold out here."

"How'd you know that I was in the kitchen?" She asked him, eyebrow raised.

"I didn't. I was going to pick the lock, and one of the McMansioners nearby to call the police." He held out a couple of metal pieces in his hand. Yeah, he was exactly the type of guy that Abby Griffin would do everything in her power to keep her daughter away from, including locking her up tight in a tower ala Rapunzel. "If you don't willingly open up for me, you know I'll come in anyway...so, you may as well just open up." She rolled her eyes and unlocked the door, letting him in. "Where's O?"

"Asleep in my bed."

"If she weren't my sister, I'd probably say something dirty, but…" Clarke rolled her eyes, stepping back and letting Bellamy into her house.

"Want something to drink?" She asked, grabbing her glass of water, ever the perfect hostess-even if she didn't like the guest all that much. She took a sip of her water, studying him.

"Any chance I could get some booze?" He joked, and she narrowed her eyes at him, shaking her head. "Water's fine." She put her own glass down and turned toward the cabinet. She grabbed an empty glass and opened the fridge. She pulled the water purifier out and turned around. It was then that she realized that he had boxed her in against the fridge. He took the water purifier from her hands, shoving it onto the counter, next to the glass. He braced his hands on either side of her head.

"What are you doing?" She asked him, her eyes widening.

"I didn't pay the toll…" He whispered, leaning forward.

Clarke never expected to make out with her best friend's older brother at three in the morning on a Saturday night in December, but here she was, in her kitchen, kissing Bellamy Blake against her fridge, with the bite of several magnets digging into her back. His hands were tangled in her hair, and her hands were resting on his biceps, the tips of her fingers digging into his inner arms. She knew that she should be pushing him away, but he was definitely a great kisser. She finally broke the kiss when she felt her brain begin to burn from a lack of oxygen.

She pushed against his chest, putting space between them. She felt stupid again, because he had to be messing with her, just as he was two years ago and when he kissed her a few months before. The kiss two months before was about causing his breakup, and he knew it would confuse the shit out of her, which would obviously be fun for him. Right now, though, she didn't understand what his intention was to kiss her. Earlier it was just to be a jackass and not let her into the house, because she pretty much walked into the Blake house like she owned it. Now, though, she didn't know what game he was playing.

"What's wrong, Princess?" He asked, his voice husky and deep from their kiss. He stepped closer to her, his body pressed against hers. She turned her head to the side, feeling the swipe of his cold nose against her cheek. "Isn't this every sixteen year old's dream? Kissing their best friend's older brother? Making out with a college kid? Hooking up with the bad boy?"

"It's not my dream." She whispered, ducking under his arm. She ran a hand through her hair. "What are you doing here, Bellamy? Why did you come to my house in the middle of the night, and why do you keep kissing me?"

"Because it's fun, Princess. You're cheeks get all red, and your eyes get all wide and a tiny bit crazy." He held up his finger and thumb, indicating a small amount with a pinching gesture.

"So, kissing me is just a game for you? You like confusing me and hurting my feelings and trying to get in between me and Octavia? Why? Do you want O to only have you to rely on? Do you like being the only person she looks up to? Are you really that threatened by her friendship with me?"

"I'm not-" Bellamy shook his head, laughing, running a hand over his face. "Princess, I'm not a nice guy, and you make it so easy for me to mess with you. You're so desperate for a guy like me to kiss you. Did Daddy not love you enough? Did he shower you with all the presents in the world, but he's always busy, never have any time for you?" She glared at him. He knew nothing about her and her life.

"Fuck you." Clarke blushed at the words, because it was the first time she actually spoke a curse word in her life. He laughed, cocking an eyebrow at her. "You don't know me." She felt the tears burn in her eyes at the thought of her father. She hated the thought that he could make her cry. She tried to convince herself that the tears were related to her short time with her father, and not his harsh words.

"Oh, poor, little Princess. You're crying because I hurt your feelings?" He shook his head, chuckling. She felt her body stiffen, because she never realized how cruel he could be. He was right when he said that he wasn't nice or good. He was cruel, and he wanted to hurt others, because it was fun for him.

"I think you should leave," she said as firmly as she could. She wiped at the stray tear that slipped down her cheek. He scoffed, shaking his head at her.

"No problem, Princess. I'll see you around." He winked at her, walking to the glass door. "No wonder you're so obsessed with science and chemistry. It makes sense to you in a way that people never will. It's why you fancy yourself above everyone else, because they just don't make sense to you." She watched as he went to the door. He opened the door, giving her one last nod.

"I'm obsessed with science and chemistry, as you say, Bellamy, because I'm trying to understand why cancer had to take my father away from me when I was eight years old. The human body, the cells that are within us, make no more sense to me than why a nineteen year old boy feels like he has to do everything in his power to confuse a girl. I'm obsessed with science and chemistry, because I have the chance to understand medicine one day, when I will never understand why you do the things you do. And, maybe, when I finally understand why our bodies do what they do, and why some people get lung cancer when they never smoked a day in their life, perhaps then I can stop it and keep it from happening to another father, another family. I will never be able to understand you, Bellamy, or the choices you make. I'll certainly never be able to stop you from hurting another girl. You or Wells or any other boy like you will never make sense to me. That's why I focus on science, Bellamy." She wiped at another tear that slipped down her cheek. "Science will always make more sense to me." She walked out of the kitchen then, not looking back. It was in that moment that she decided that she was done with Bellamy Blake.

Clarke climbed the stairs, heading toward her room. The big canopy bed was tucked into the corner, with white string lights wound around it's posts, tangled with the frothy fabric. She smiled at the dark lump on one half of the bed, tucked beneath the blankets. She wiped at her cheeks once again, making sure any trace of her tears were gone, before she walked towards the bed. She slipped under the covers, sliding down and turning away from Octavia's sleeping form.

"Hey," Clarke opened her eyes when she heard O's voice. "Where were you?" She felt Octavia's movement as she rolled over. Clarke felt her cheeks burn, and her eyes fill again.

"I was getting water." She said, and a tear slipped down her cheek.

"Oh, Clarke, what's wrong?" Octavia said, hearing the tears in Clarke's voice. Clarke felt the arm slip over her waist, and she felt Octavia snuggle closer to her. She couldn't choke back the tears any longer, and she started bawling. "Oh, sweetie."

"Am I broken, O? Did I break after my dad died?"

"You're not broken, Clarke. Your heart is, but you're not. Losing your dad the way that you did...it's hard. It's not fair. Bellamy and I...our dads never stuck around. They weren't father material, and they didn't care, but your dad. Your dad was the perfect dad. Your dad was the kind of dad that I dreamed about having. You got lucky, you won the dad lottery, and it wasn't fair that he got taken away from you like he did. Just know that if he had the choice, Clarke, he wouldn't have left you, because only stupid people willingly walk out of your life." Clarke sobbed into the pillow, her hands holding tight to the arm that Octavia draped over her.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Clarke awoke alone in her bed. She sniffled, her eyes and nose still raw from crying the night before. She climbed out of her bed and called out the steps to Octavia, searching for her friend. "O? You here?"<p>

"I'm downstairs. I'm making breakfast. It'll be ready in a half an hour, okay?"

"Okay. I'm gonna get in the shower." Clarke made her way back into room, grabbing her robe and towel from the hook on the back of her door. She was in and out of the shore in ten minutes, and it only took a few more to dress in a pair of fuzzy socks, flannel pajama bottoms with snowmen on it, a white tank top with the built in bra, and a bright red cardigan sweater. She French braided her damp hair and slathered some lotion onto her skin. She then made her way to the room next to hers.

The room was originally intended to be where a younger sibling lived, but her parents had never been able to conceive another child after she was born. It was especially difficult for them the first time, and she suspects that was why both of her parents (until her father passed away) had tried to give her everything that she could possibly want or need. Now, it is where she stored her guitar and music stands, where she wrote her music most of the time. Now, it is where she had sketchbook on top of sketchbook and a large easel by the window, with a table that she stored her pallet and brushes and paint on. The walls were covered in charcoal drawings, pencil sketches, and canvas portraits and landscapes. The walls were also covered in smudged sheet music of failed songs she had written, reminders of her growth as a songwriter and musician. This room was her sanctuary. She walked over to where she had her iPod set up in its dock and pressed play. She sat down at the stool in front of her easel and grabbed the pallet.

She began squirting paint onto it, grabbing a paint brush. She dabbed at the blue paint, and she began swiping the brush against the blank canvas. Before she realized, she heard a knock at the door to the room. She glanced down at her person, realizing that she had at one point lost her cardigan, and her arms, chest, and cheeks were covered in smeared paint. She bit her lip when she heard the door open, and she turned around.

"Hey, um, Octavia sent me up here...wow." Her eyes widened when she saw that it was Bellamy standing in her sanctuary. "This is…" He glanced around the room. He walked further into the room and over to the easel. "Is this your dad?" He asked, and his voice was deeper, husky like the night before, but not because of a kiss, but instead full of something she didn't understand. She nodded her head, reaching up to tuck a loose blond wave behind her ear. "You're an awesome artist." She nodded her head.

"Thanks," she whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I planned on coming by to apologize for being a bit of a jackass last night, and Octavia invited me to breakfast. She told me to come up here and see what was keeping you. I wasn't expecting this…" He cleared his throat.

"So, what's this apology that you were going to give to me." She said, crossing her arms. He rolled his eyes at her, giving her the cocky smirk that she knew he pulled out to get his way. She didn't return his smile, and his slipped from his cheeks. He looked down, tucking his hands into his jean pockets.

"Right, so, I was a major asshole to you last night. I keep taking advantage of you, and I could sort of tell you had a bit of a crush on me since the first night we met." She opened her mouth to say something, but he shook his head. "Don't deny it, because you did. You were fourteen and a cute kid, but you were just that…a kid. I was a mixed up teenager two years ago, and I was angry with my mom for sending me to military school when I was in middle school, but that is what happens when you purposely skip school and flunk all of your classes. I took advantage of you being a kid, and I took my shit out on you.

"Then, I saw you again, two years later, and you're _not_ a kid anymore. I mean, look at you, Princess, you're really pretty, and if you were anyone else, I'd definitely be all of you, because that is what I do. I hook up with girls, and then I move on. But as pretty as I think you are, I can't do that with you, because you're my baby sister's best friend. Just because you aren't a kid anymore, it doesn't mean you're still not too _young_. I'm not a nice guy, Princess, but I'm a nice enough guy to know that I'd ruin you if I kept this up. So, there it is. This is my apology. I dunno what more to say, so…" She shocked him, then, by laying both of her hands on either side of his cheeks and pressing her lips to his.

He stilled, not daring to touch her, not returning her kiss. She didn't kiss him for long, but it was long enough to let him know that she was calling his bullshit. She was mad at him, sure, because he kept messing with her-and she knew that this apology of his was just another move in his chess game. She knew that he wanted her to feel confused again, like the floor dropped out beneath her. He wanted her to still have hope that there could be something between him. Sure, there might always be a what if in the back of her mind over whether or not they could be something more than the best friend and older brother of Octavia Blake, but she wasn't going to hold her breath. She was, however, going to play the same game as him, which is why she kissed him.

"I'm calling bullshit." She said as she stepped out of his space. She started walking backwards, grabbing her sweater in her hands on the way out of the room. "I don't believe this half-nice, half-asshat thing you got going on, Bellamy Blake. I just can't decide which category you fall into yet." Just as she disappeared from her art and music room, she tapped her cheek with an index finger. "You've got a little paint here. You might want to go clean up before you go back to O." She left the room, smiling at the chuckle she heard from him as she walked away. Your move, Bellamy, she thought to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Human

Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.**

**Author's Note: I'm thinking about making this story rated M, because that's the way I write a lot of my stories, but I haven't decided yet if I'm going to go down that route. Would I lose readers if I went that route, or would you all be okay with that? **

**I would also love to read what you think about the story so far. To those of you who have reviewed, thank you so much. You're beyond sweet. Also, Molly...girl, I'm sorry that you lost your boy, Finn, but hopefully some Bellarke loving will make up for it?**

**I don't know if Bellamy and Clarke seem a little too out of character, but I think they'd be a different in a modern world, where all they had to worry about was school, friends, relationships, and being normal kids.**

* * *

><p>"I hate this movie," Clarke muttered as she cuddled on the couch with Octavia at the Blake house. Clarke literally felt like she was being sawed in half, and all she wanted to do was relax on her best friend's couch on the Saturday before Valentine's Day and watch movies while eating junk food. She didn't want to think about how she was suddenly dating two different guys, and both guys were irritated with her, because she chose to go out with neither one of them on Valentine's Day itself, and instead is going to dinner with Octavia to celebrate their tenth anniversary of being best friends. She could remember the day perfectly.<p>

Octavia was new in her class, having only arrived in town two weeks before, and she did not really have any friends yet. No one gave Octavia a Valentine's-no one except Clarke. Octavia had been nice the week before when Clarke had tripped on her untied shoelaces and fell. O had helped her up and said she'd be okay, all the while giving her a hug. Clarke, as a way to say thank you and to make sure that O had something to open on Valentine's day, had made her giant valentine (rather than giving her one of the _101 Dalmatians_ valentines that the rest of the class was getting) with six Hershey kisses on it-because they were six. Octavia loved the Valentine so much that she declared Clarke to be her best friend, and they were best friends ever since. For the last ten years, they spent every Valentine's Day together, even the ones where they both had boyfriends. Valentine's Day would always be their day.

"Clarke, what would our couple name be?" Octavia asked as shoved a cheeto into her mouth.

"Couple name?"

"Yeah, like Bennifer. What would ours be?"

"Um, I dunno…" Clarke thought about it for a few minutes before she shrugged. "Clarvia?"

"Clarvia…it sounds like larva."

"Gross." Clarke chuckled. "But, it is better than the alternatives. Like, Octarke. Or Griflake. Or Blaffin."

"God, those are terrible. I like Clarvia."

"Clarvia we are…" Clarke bit the tip off of her gummy worm. "Nick and Taylor are mad at me." She said, looking over at O.

"Why?"

"Because I'm dating both of them _and_ I'm going on our best friend date on Valentine's Day rather than on a date with one of them."

"Well, they need to get over the fact that you're dating both of them. They're lucky you're even going on dates with either one of them. You broke up with Wells four months ago. He cheated on you. You're heart needed time to heal, and now you're taking the time to really explore your options before you commit to someone else."

"That's what I told both of them when they first asked me out. I wanted to warn them, in case they wanted something more serious, you know? I was all 'you're so great, and I really like you, and I'd love to go on a date with you, but I'm not sure I'm ready to jump back into a relationship yet, so it'd be okay with me if you wanted to still date other people for awhile.'"

"Clarke, you don't need to be settled down and in another relationship with a guy right now."

"Is Micah mad at you for going out with me on Tuesday?"

"No. I mean, he was a little miffed because it's our 'first official Valentine's as a couple' or whatever," Octavia said with an eye roll and air quotes. "But, I think he gets that tradition is important for us, and our friendship comes ahead everything else."

"Good. I'm sorry that you're spending Valentine's Day with me rather than your boyfriend."

"No, it's better with you. There's so much pressure to have this perfect day on Valentine's Day, and I'm nervous that Micah's going to want to have sex with me that day. I'm no prude or anything, but I'm just not sure I'm ready to swipe the v-card yet."

"Yeah, I get that. I think that with Wells, I was thinking that I wanted to have sex really bad, because sex in the movies looks so awesome and seems great, and everybody at school talks about it like it's the best thing in the world, but I don't think I wanted to have sex with him as a way to get closer to him or whatever sex is supposed to be about. I think that should have been the first sign that there was something wrong with our relationship. Now, I still want to have sex, but I don't want to have sex with just anyone, you know?"

"Exactly." Octavia nodded her head. The girls looked up when the front door swung open.

"Hello!? Mom? O?" Bellamy's voice boomed through the front hall, entering the living room.

"In here, Bells." O called out, and they heard the shuffling of feet. Bellamy entered the living room and dropped a giant bag onto the floor. "What's that?"

"Laundry." Bellamy said nonchalantly. "Princess." He gave her a head nod.

"Bellamy." Clarke responded. She went back to munching on cheetos and gummy worms.

"What are you two up to?" Bellamy asked as he sat down on the couch beside Clarke and began digging into Clarke's bowl of gummy worms. She pouted at him, earning an eye roll.

"Watching movies and girl talk." Clarke told him, hinting that he should get the hell out.

"Bells, how old were you when you had sex?"

"You're too young." Bellamy said immediately, barely letting Octavia finish her sentence before he began responding.

"C'mon, Bell, I'm being serious."

"Why do you want to know? Why does it matter?" Bellamy asked her, leaning around Clarke to study his sister. "Are you thinking about having sex?"

"No, not really. Clarke and I were just talking about our views on sex when it comes to our current relationships."

"Hey, I'm still single here. Don't put a label on what's going on with me." Clarke shook her head. "I'm so not in the mood for the whole boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship thing."

"Whatever, Clarke. Anyways, Bells. Micah and I have been dating since the end of last February, so this is our first official Valentine's Day as a couple. We're not celebrating together, since I'm celebrating my ten years with Clarke, but I'm just worried that he's going to be expecting to have sex by the time our first anniversary rolls around. I just don't think I'm ready for that."

"You're not. You're sixteen. No sex. Conversation done. Also, your ten years? What are you two, a lesbian couple? Ten years..." Clarke rolled her eyes at Bellamy's reaction.

"Shut up." She muttered. "You're no help, Bellamy. She's trying to have a serious talk with you right now. You're the closest male role model in her life, and she's asking for your advice. Here's what I think, O." Clarke said, chastising Bellamy and advising Octavia all in one breath. "Parents and adults put a lot of pressure on sex to be some big awesome thing that connects people as a couple and strengthens your relationship. Kids our age put too much pressure on sex as some fun thing to do with each other because it feels good. So, why can't you have both? You've know Micah since freshman year, and you guys have been dating for just about a year. If you love him and you want to have sex, then have sex; just be smart. If you love him, but you're still nervous or uncomfortable with the idea of having sex, then don't have sex. Simple as that."

"That's surprisingly good advice, Princess." Bellamy mumbled. "Except, don't have sex." Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, my thing with Wells was a huge disaster when it came to sex, so I don't exactly know what I'm talking about. I think what happened with me was that I thought we were supposed to have sex, because we dated for a year and a half, and everyone talked about sex being so great, and, frankly, I was bored with just making out and the occasional hands down the other's pants thing." She grinned at the 'what the fuck' that came from Bellamy. "I don't think I actually ever wanted to have sex with him, because I loved him. I'm not even sure I loved him at all. Like, we were fifteen when we started dating. Do we really know what love is at fifteen?"

"How can I know I love Micah at sixteen?"

"You can't. Can you really even know that you love someone at twenty-one, thirty-three, forty-eight? No, you can't. So just follow your heart."

"And, is your heart telling you Taylor or Nick?" Octavia asked Clarke. She groaned, dropping her head back onto the couch.

"Both, neither...I dunno. Taylor's super sweet, you know. When we go out, he's always super polite and a total gentleman. Like, he holds the door for me, pays for everything, tells me I look beautiful. But, Nick…"

"Nick looks like he was chiseled by Michelangelo ala David."

"Right. Exactly. Nick is gorgeous, and he's funny. We have fun. I...uggh. Dating's annoying."

"You need a guy that's half-Taylor, half-Nick."

"No guy is super sweet and looks really good. They're one or the other, and girls always pick the good looking one." Bellamy supplied. "I just can't believe that Princess is dating two different guys. I figured you're a one-guy kind of gal, a serial monogamist."

"My boyfriend, who I'd been working my ass off to seduce, including dressing in sexy and expensive lingerie, cheated on me only four months ago. I think relationships are pretty low on my radar." She said slowly, patronizing him before rolling her eyes. "In all seriousness, Bellamy, the truth is that I'm not some goody-goody you think I am. I'm not the type of person to say that people _need_ to be in a relationship in order to have sex. You can screw as many people as you want, as long as you're safe about it. I haven't had sex yet, but I do think that sex is probably better when you're in a committed relationship, because you feel more connected to the person and comfortable with asking for what you want than people who have one night stands and flings."

"Yeah, Clarke's very liberal when it comes to sexuality. I'm much more conservative." Octavia supplied. "Like, I want to wait until I'm like super committed to a guy, so I'm not even sure I want to have sex at all in high school. I haven't told Micah that yet, though."

"Then, don't have sex in high school." Clarke told her. "But you do have to talk to Micah about it." She scrunched her nose. "I can't guess when I'll lose my virginity, but I'm not opposed to losing it before I leave high school."

"Okay, so I'm going to say something, and I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind." Octavia said, preparing Clarke. "Sex with Nick or Taylor."

"Uggh, no." Clarke shook her head. "Shit. I should probably break up with them, right? They're both nice, but if I'm not feeling drawn to either one of them and want to turn our dating into something serious, I'm probably never going to, right?"

"God, yes, break up with them." Bellamy said, shaking his head. "You don't want to have sex with either one of them, then drop them. You don't want to do the relationship thing, then drop them." Clarke stared at him.

"I'm shocked you ever do the relationship thing. What the hell was with that Chloe chick?"

"Ehh, I'm not the relationship type. I've had relationships, but usually that was because I felt like I had to or because the girl wouldn't put out without the label."

"Classy." Clarke said, typing into her phone.

"How old were you, Bells, when you lost your virginity? You never told me." Octavia asked.

"Honestly?" Bellamy groaned, running a hand down his face.

"And, I'm officially single again." Clarke said, setting her phone down on her lap again. "Also, yeah, how old?"

"You broke up with the two dudes you were dating via text a few days before Valentine's Day. Damn, that's cold, Princess."

"You're deflecting. Spill. How old?" Clarke grinned. "First kiss." She narrowed her eyes at him, and Octavia pinched her, because they all remembered how he was Clarke's first kiss.

"Only if Octavia says how old she was!"

"Thirteen, with Jasper, in the music room after school, eighth grade. Now you."

"Fine. I was six. Do you remember our neighbors, the Crawleys, when we still lived in Philly?" Bellamy asked Octavia.

"No, but then, we moved not long after that, because Tom bailed."

"Right." Bellamy said, quietly. "Um, so yeah, the Crawleys had a little girl my age, and we kissed through the fence in our backyards." He said quickly, shoving his hand in Clarke's bowl of cheetos to grab one. She growled at him, and he cocked an eyebrow at her. "Did you just growl at me?"

"Yes, and you take another, I will bite you." She warned him. Octavia giggled. Bellamy rolled his eyes and reached towards the bowl.

"I wouldn't if I were you." O warned, but he ignored her.

"She won't bite me. I bite back." He joked, grabbing another cheeto. Clarke immediately leaned over and bit his arm through his long sleeved t-shirt. "Shit, Princess." He said around his cheeto. "You actually bit me." He grabbed her hand and proceeded to bite the back of it.

"Hey, stop!" Clarke complained, smacking at him with her free hand, because he didn't release her hand, but instead began sucking hard on the skin that he had trapped in his teeth. He finally released her hand, and she had a red swollen welt on the back of it. "You gave me a hickey...on my hand!" She smacked him in the gut, making him grunt slightly at the impact.

"Guys, stop. You're acting like a couple, and it's gross." Octavia shuddered. "Clarke's like my sister, and, Bells, you're my brother. It's like incest." Clarke pulled away from Bellamy and moved closer to Octavia.

"Um, it can't be incest, O, because Princess and I aren't related. And, we've spent about a week in each other's presence over the last three years." Bellamy said. He probably said it to make himself feel less gross for making out with Clarke in her kitchen a few weeks before. Clarke swallowed, still not daring to talk, because Octavia had no idea about the last few times that they'd kissed. She only knew about their first kiss when Bellamy took her first kiss. "Besides, that's _never_ happening. Definitely not going there."

Clarke shot him a glare. "Thanks, jackass. I'd rather stab myself in the eye than touch you with a ten foot pole."

"Ouch, Princess. That hurts."

"Anyways," Octavia rolled her eyes. "Your first kiss doesn't count. Because if we're going with that kind of thing, Clarke and I had our first kiss when we were eight."

"Oh, I forgot about that! Awww, my first kiss was with a different Blake. I like that first kiss better!" Clarke giggled, planting a kiss on O's cheek. "Love you, O."

"Love you, too!"

"I'll forever be your first kiss. You'll never forget it." He winked at Clarke, who flipped him off. "You guys kissed when you were eight?" She looked down at her hands, not meeting his eyes.

"O kissed me when I ran away from home the day that my dad died. I ran over here, and I was crying, and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was dying, because the most important person in the world to me had died, right next to me. I had come home from school, and I climbed into the bed with him, and I held his hand. It was like every other day. He asked me about my day, and we'd listen to the Beatles, and he'd tell me why they were the greatest band in the whole world. That day, he said he was tired, and he just wanted to listen to me sing to him. So, I sang to him, and as I was singing _Let It Be_, he died. So, I screamed for my mom, and while she was getting the ambulance to come and the coroner to officially declare him dead and all that, I ran away." Clarke felt the tears pour down her cheeks.

"And, she came here, and I held her in my arms, and I kissed her, and I told her that her daddy was looking down on her from Heaven and that he loved her." Octavia said, wrapping her arms around Clarke, holding her close. "He's always watching over you, Clarke, and I know he's proud of the person you are."

"Shit, Princess, I didn't mean to make you cry." Bellamy said quietly, and he laid a hand on Clarke's back.

"I don't want to talk about my dad." Clarke whispered, wiping at her cheeks after a few minutes. "I just...I'm gonna go to bed, okay, O?" She jumped up, detangling herself from the blanket and her friend's arms.

"Clarke, wait!" Octavia moved to get up as Clarke headed out of the room. She glanced over her shoulder to see Bellamy lay his hand on O's arm, stopping her.

"I'll go. I'll call you if we need you." He said, following Clarke from the room.

She was already sitting on O's bed when he finally caught up with her, gripping the stuffed bunny that her father had given to her when she was four years old. The ear was torn, and it was showing its age, but she loved it and kept it close to her every night. He sat down on the bed beside her, not saying a word, and it was exactly the type of support that she needed. She loved Octavia's constant displays of affection and claims that her dad was watching over her and loved her, but sometimes all she wanted and needed was to sit in silence and feel the pain.

After about five minutes, she felt him lay his hand over hers, and she turned her hand to interlace their fingers. He squeezed her hand in apology for making her cry, but it honestly wasn't his fault. She was always a leaky faucet when it came to her dad, and no matter how much healing and occasional sit downs with a grief therapist, she still felt the pain of her dad's death. She figured she would never _not_ hurt over his death. After a few minutes of holding his hand, she felt like she could breathe again and like she wasn't about to burst into tears at any moment. She let out a shuddering breath and squeezed his hand once.

"It wasn't your fault." She mumbled, and he glanced over at her.

"What wasn't?"

"Making me cry. It wasn't your fault." Clarke said, finally releasing Bellamy's hand. She slowly pulled her hand from his, because he didn't let go right away. "I have a hard time talking about my dad."

"I don't blame you." He chewed on his bottom lip. "Don't tell O this, but I'm almost jealous of you, of your dad dying as a kid." She looked over at him in shock. "Wow. I just realized how much of a douche I just sounded like."

"No. You didn't. It's just that I never expected to hear that from you. O's said it before. She's talked about how your dad left, and then her dad left, and she said that I was lucky to have the relationship that I did with my dad." She said, remembering sobbing in O's arms after he had kissed her the last time. "I guess I am lucky, because my dad didn't leave me by choice."

Bellamy was quiet for a moment. "Twice…" He whispered. Clarke cocked her head to the side, not daring to question what he meant. Did his dad come back into his life a second time, only to leave him again? "I had two dads leave me." He explained himself, and it was then she understood what he meant. He was three years older than Octavia. Aurora had date O's dad for about two years before she had O. O's dad had been as much of a dad to Bellamy as he had been to O. Then, he left when O was three, and Bellamy was six.

Clarke leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Bellamy's lips. She felt him freeze, but then his hand reached up, settling on her cheek, kissing her back. It was a kiss about comfort, but there was something more there. She knew that she was in danger of falling for him again. She had written off anything happening between them back in December, but barely two months later, she was back to crushing on him. She was nervous that O might find them like this, because she was nervous that he'd say something stupid or cruel that would break her heart all over again.

To save herself the pain and the humiliation, it was she who pulled back. She bit her bottom lip, studying his face. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, but his hand never left her cheek. His eyes flew open, and he studied her. "I'm a bad guy, Princess." His voice was deep and husky. She furrowed her brow, shaking her head, but he pulled his hand away and moved to get up. She grabbed his arm, stopping him, not understanding what he meant. "I had two dads leave me, and my mom sent me away to boarding school. I'm no good for you."

Her heart broke for him then, because he blamed himself for two men leaving, and his mom sent him to military school, because he kept failing classes and skipping school. What she saw as love, her son saw as abandonment and further confirmation that he was broken or bad. What Clarke saw when she looked at Bellamy was a scared little boy who didn't know why the only dad he ever knew walked out on him, and he didn't know how to deal. So, he started fighting, didn't do his homework, and skipped school, because he was angry and hurt. Then, his mom sent him away from the only family he had left-her and his baby sister. She pulled him down again, and he sighed as he sat beside her.

"You keep saying that you're bad guy, but you're only doing bad things, because you think you have to. But, you'd do anything for your sister, and bad guys don't care about their sisters. Deep down, you're a big softie, Bellamy Blake." She told him, and she kissed him again. This time, she didn't do it long enough to let him return it. She wanted to tell him that she had feelings for him, and she saw him for what he was, a _good_ guy.

"We can't do this, Princess." He said when she pulled back from him. She froze beside him, feeling her heart snap into once again. "Four months ago, your boyfriend cheated on you. You just broke up with two guys, because you didn't want to make a commitment." She opened her mouth to say that she'd be willing to try with him, but he cut her off. "No. _No_, Princess. I'm not the guy to do that with. I've never really done the relationship thing. Sure, I've called someone my girlfriend and been considered a boyfriend, but that was all for sex, and it didn't last long. I'm not the commitment type. You deserve a lot more than I can give you."

"But, Bellamy-" He kissed her again, and she knew in that moment it was a goodbye kiss. He was ending whatever weird thing they had before it even started. He pulled back, tucking a lock of her blond hair behind her ear.

"You're my baby sister's best friend. That's all you'll ever be to me." He said coldly, but she could see it in his eyes that he didn't mean it. He stood up, and this time she let him go. He walked out of O's room, and she just sat there, staring at the empty space beside her. This was the fourth time that Bellamy Blake broke her heart, and Clarke wasn't sure how many more times she could take it.


	5. Chapter 5

Human

Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.**

**Author's Note: I think I've decided to do a M-rating on this. I can mark which chapters include M-rated stuff, so you those of you who don't want to read the M-rated sections, you can avoid them without losing out on the story. Also, this chapter was originally super long, so I split it in two. Enjoy! Let me know what you think.**

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><p>Clarke sighed in relief when she finally arrived at Henle Village. The apartment complex loomed above her, and she stared up at it, squinting in the waning light. It was was a warm September Friday, so her t-shirt was clinging to her back beneath her duffle bag that was slung over her shoulders. She has her sketchbook tucked under her arm, her laptop bag draped on one shoulder, and her pillow pressed against her front. She yawned, because the three hour bus ride from her hometown to Georgetown's campus was uncomfortable and long, and despite the fact that it was nearly six in the evening, she wanted nothing more than to shower and go to bed.<p>

She chewed on her bottom lip as she attempted to shift her laptop bag out of the way without losing her sketchbook and dropping her pillow in order to find her phone in her duffle when a guy who looked to be about twenty-one took pity on her. "You trying to get inside?" She nodded her head, smiling widely at him.

"Thanks!" He held the door for her, allowing her into the apartment complex.

"You're visiting someone for the night?" The guy after they both got into the building.

"Yeah, I am." She said in a bored tone, because she so did not want to be spending the night with who she was spending the night with. She shifted her laptop bag, moving her sketchbook to her hand that was holding the pillow against her chest.

"Who're you visiting?" The guy asked. She wondered why he cared so much, so she shot him a curious glance while she dug her hand into the pocket on her duffle to grab her phone. It was one of the new iPhones that had come out over the summer. She didn't know anyone who had them, including Octavia and Bellamy. O was constantly borrowing her phone, because she still had only one of the more advanced Nokia models.

"Thanks for your help." She said, scrolling through her contacts. Before she could even connect the call, she heard the gruff voice of Bellamy Blake coming towards her.

"You told our moms that we _kissed_!" He growled, marching up to her. She flushed, shoving her phone into her duffle bag once again.

"I was attempting to get out of my mom making me stay with you!" She snapped, glaring at him. "You're the one who told her your mom that the _only_ time we kissed was when I was fourteen." She remembered the conversation that led her to this moment, arguing with Bellamy Blake in the lobby of the Henle Village apartments.

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><p>"<em>Mom, I'm thinking about visiting the Georgetown campus to see if I want to apply there. They do weekday tours and Saturday tours."<em>

"_That's a great idea, sweetheart. I'll take the day off from work."_

"_Oh, stop, Mom, you don't have to. I'll just spend the night in a motel, tour the campus, and head back home. No biggie. If I do go to school there, I'm not going to have you there all the time, so I think that I should do this myself, okay?"_

"_You want to tour the college campus by yourself?"_

"_Yes."_

"_I don't know, Clarke. I don't think that it is a good idea."_

"_But, Mom, I'm _seventeen_, okay? I'm going to be in college next year. If I go to Georgetown, I'll be living in D.C. on my own. Well, Octavia will be there, but she'll probably be at UDC. I don't know how we'll survive not living together or seeing each other every day. The campuses aren't that far, so we could make sure to meet for coffee." She began rambling, making her mother hold up a hand to stop it. "Right, anyways, what I was trying to say is that I'm growing up, and I'm not a baby anymore. Let me do this on my own. If I don't like the school, then I won't apply there. There's always Columbia, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, Vassar, and so on."_

_Abby studied her daughter, and Clarke watched her as she pushed the broccoli around her plate. After a few moments, her mother sighed. "Doesn't Octavia's brother go to Georgetown?" Clarke's eyes widened as she nodded her head. Did she tell her mom that? Maybe Aurora had bragged about it when he first got in on a full-ride, including room and board? Clarke doubted that Bellamy would be at Georgetown if it weren't for such a scholarship, because the school, especially its room and board, was crazy expensive. "I'll call Aurora. I'd rather you'd stay with him than a hotel." Abby stood up and walked over to the wall phone. _

"_WAIT! What?" Clarke screeched, watching as her mother dialed the phone. "You're willing to let your seventeen year old daughter stay with a _male_ twenty year old overnight, but you were freaking out moments before about letting me go visit the campus by myself, without you? That makes no sense!" She received an eye roll in response._

"_Lesser of two evils and all that. Aurora, hey! I have a question for you." Clarke swallowed, hard. The lesser of two evils in her mother's mind was that she stayed over night in Bellamy's dorm room? "So, Clarke is visiting Georgetown's campus for a Saturday morning tour. She was planning on heading to D.C. on Friday night, since it's a long commute, and I would just feel so much better if she stayed with someone I knew-well, have heard great things about from you-than for her to stay by herself in a hotel. Would you think that Bellamy would be okay with that?"_

"_Mom, I'm sure that Georgetown has policy's about underaged kids visiting dorms."_

"_Yes, there is a minor form I need to fill out. Chloe's daughter went to visit her cousin at Georgetown, and Chloe had to submit an online permission form, and then the two of them went to pick a minor id of some kind." Oh, her mom had this all figured out. Desperate times called for desperate measures, which was why she said what she had to say._

"_Bellamy and I have kissed!" Clarke said loudly, and she watched her mom's entire body still. _

"_Aurora, hold on a moment. My daughter just informed me that she and your son have kissed." Abby said into the phone. "Care to clear this up for me, Clarke?"_

"_We totally made out, Mom. Heavy breathing, feeling dizzy from the lack of air kind of made out. You sure you want me to stay with him?"_

"_Apparently, our children have 'made out,' Aurora." She paused, listening to her friend on the other line. "Yeah, I look forward to hearing Bellamy's explanation. Talk to you soon."_

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><p>Aurora had called Abby back within a half an hour, and it was agreed between the two of them that Clarke would stay with Bellamy on the Friday night before her campus tour. Clarke glared at Bellamy, who crossed his arms.<p>

"Sorry to ruin your plans, Princess, but did you really want O to find out that we've kissed on multiple occasions? That's why I left it at just the first kiss."

"You were the one who kept kissing me!"

"Except, there were quite a few times when _you_ kissed _me_." She sighed, rubbing a hand over her face.

"I don't want to fight about this. I'm hungry and grumpy and tired." She whined, pouting.

"Jesus, it's like having a toddler with me!" He blew out a breath. "Let me run your stuff up to my room, and then you and I have to go to Darnell to get your minor pass." She groaned.

"Minor pass? I knew she looked a little young for you, Blake." The guy who let her in was still standing there, witnessing their little tiff. Clarke narrowed her eyes at him. She had thought he was cute and nice before, but now he was being creepy.

"Fuck off, Murphy." Bellamy responded, walking over Clarke, holding out his hands. She rolled her eyes, passing him all of her crap, and he groaned. Out of her peripheral, she saw the Murphy guy finally leave them.

"You're here for one night, and you brought all of this?"

"I didn't want to impose on you tonight and screw up your plans, so I planned on sketching." She shrugged.

"Hate to break it to you, Princess, but you're stuck with me until you leave."

"Really? You're gonna go on the tour with me tomorrow?"

"Fuck." He muttered, marching out of the lobby of Henle. She had kept her phone with her, so she pulled it out and typed out a message to Octavia about how much this whole thing sucked. Not too long after she sent the message, she received 'haha sux 2 b u' from O. She groaned, turning to the bulletin board hanging by the entrance. She felt stiff from sitting so long and kind of sore from walking from the bus stop to the campus. She had gotten lost a few times, which was why she was looking forward to the tour the next day. She rolled her shoulders a few times, and then rolled her neck forward, reaching up to rub the back of it. She jumped when she felt long, callused fingers push her hand out of the way, massaging the back of her neck. "Let's get the minor thing taken care of, and then we'll get something to eat." She hummed her agreeance, but neither one of them moved for a moment.

Clarke finally, begrudgingly, moved out of Bellamy's reach, turning to face him. He studied her face and gave her a soft smile. She wondered how awkward it was for him to be forced to share a room with her for the night. The last time they'd really talked had been Valentine's Day. They'd avoided each other like the plague ever since he shut down anything ever happening between the two of them. She felt like a mess of nerves to be around him in this capacity, and her heart still hurt, so she wasn't exactly feeling all that peachy herself.

The two of them finally headed out of the building. Once the issue with the minor pass had been squared away, he guided her to a pizza place that was not far from his apartment complex. He bought them a small cheese pizza (complete with complaints, "what the fuck, Princess! Why are you so fucking boring? Just cheese? Really?) and a pitcher of Coke. She bit into the pizza and hummed, her eyes falling shut. She heard nothing but silence from across the booth, and she opened to see him looking at her with both eyebrows raised and smirk on his lips. She rolled her eyes and kept eating, finally feeling less irritable about the situation she was in.

After they finished eating, Bellamy walked them back to his apartment. He got her signed, with the minor guest pass, at the guard's station before he led her up to his apartment. "So, I share an apartment with Jack, Tucker, and Doug. Doug and I both lucked out and got singles, and Jack and Tucker are dating two girls in another hallway, so basically Tucker lives at the girls' apartment, and Jack's girl lives with us."

"What happens if Tucker or Jack breaks up with his girlfriend?" Clarke asked as he unlocked the door to his apartment.

"I thank fucking God that I've got a single." She rolled her eyes, following him into the apartment. It was exactly how she expected a bunch of college guys to live. There were shoes thrown haphazardly around the apartment, clothes left in piles, empty pizza boxes lying open on the floor, with beer bottles strewn on the various tabletops. There were some indication that studying did take place in the apartment in the form of a pile of textbooks on the coffee table. She grinned when she saw an acoustic guitar leaning against a counter in the kitchen area.

"Die, motherfucker!" One of Bellamy's roommates was playing some type of racing video game, shouting at the screen. Clarke chuckled as she watched the guy slam the car into a person walking down the street, not paying attention to the madman that was driving the car. She winced when she saw the body of the person left on the concrete as the roommate had the car continue on, looking for it's next victim. The roommate was also dressed in a pair of boxers, and that was it.

"Dude, put some fucking clothes on." Bellamy groaned, running a hand through his hair. Clarke watched him, and she thought that his hair was in need of a trim. She longed to run her fingers through his hair, and she immediately shook her head, trying to clear that thought from it. "Tuck, this is Clarke. Clarke, Tuck."

"Hi, Tucker." Clarke smiled warmly at him.

"Hi, hot blond. Blake, who's the babe?" She rolled her eyes.

"The _babe_ is standing right here and fully capable of talking for herself." She said marching past him and blocking the screen long enough to make him crash.

"Aww, what the fuck!" Bellamy laughed, following her.

"This way to my room." He said, guiding her into his single. Clarke glanced around after he turned the light on. His room, unlike the common area, was nothing like she imagined it would be. The room was small, but extremely neat and organized. Every article of clothing, shoe, and schoolbook was in the place it was supposed to be. His bed was even made. On his bed, she found her duffle bag, pillow, and sketchbook. Her laptop bag was hanging off the chair at his desk. She chewed on her bottom lip. How was the sleeping arrangements going to work? "You can take my bed, and I'll borrow Tuck's blow up mattress. I dunno when the last time that thing was disinfected, so if I die, you can blame yourself, Princess."

Clarke caught Bellamy off guard when she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a tight hug. "Thank you." She said into his neck, and she felt him slowly wrap his arms around her frame. After a few moments, they pulled back, but not completely. They were staring into each other's eyes, and neither one of them knew what to say. She could read in his face that there was a battle going on in his mind, likely the same battle that she was experience. She didn't know what she wanted to do more, kiss him or knee him in the balls. She didn't have to make a decision, though, because the door to Bellamy's apartment flew open. A different guy, likely one of his other roommates, strolled in.

"Dude, the bitches in 302 are throwing a-oh, you've got a lady friend over. Nevermind then. Sorry to interrupt." The guy winked the two of them, and she quickly pulled out of his arms, putting some much needed distance between the two of them.

"You didn't interrupt. Nothing was going on." She shook her head. "I'm just…we're just…" She hesitated, not sure what to call him. "Also, you were saying something about _people_ throwing a party later? When? I'd love to go."

"You're not going." Bellamy snapped, and Clarke turned to glare at him. "Get out, Doug."

"You can't tell me what I can and cannot do. If I want to go to a party, then I can go to a party."

"You. Are. Not. Going."

"You can't stop me!"

"You're seventeen, for fuck's sake! I'm not letting you go to a party. You're mom would kill me. My mom would kill me. O would kill me!"

"Only because she isn't here to go with us!"

"Where is O anyways?"

"She's in Philly for the weekend with your mom. Tom called and asked to meet with her."

"WHAT?! Are you kidding me!?" Clarke winced, because she knew that Tom was a sore subject for him. "She's visiting that asshole!?"

"Yes, she is. She asked what she should do, and I told her that I couldn't decide that for her. I did say that if I had the opportunity to see my dad again, I'd jump at it, but my experience was different from what you both went to. I told her that I'd still me with him, though, because I'd want to know why. Why did he want to leave me? Why did he not care enough? Why is it so important to meet with me now, when I've spent most of my life without him? I'd want answers, Bellamy, and O does to. I think you do, too, but you're afraid to find them out. O said that he asked about you, too. That he wanted to see if you were okay. He didn't forget about you, either."

"Fuck you, Princess." He crossed his arms and turned away from her. She sighed.

"So, it looks like you two got something going on right now, so I'm going to vacate the premises before I see Blake cry, and it would ruin that manly image that I've got of him. If you two wanna go to the party, we're leaving at ten." Doug waved a hand at them and then exited the room, shutting the door behind him. Clarke turned back to Bellamy, walking over to lay a hand on his back. She felt him tense, but he didn't move away from her.

"I know that having Tom leave you must have been really hard, and it must have sucked to hear that Octavia is visiting with him, but I think that O was scared to tell you about it, and the fact that he asked about you, too, because she thought that you'd curse him out and say you didn't want anything to do with him and that she shouldn't either. I think she wants to know the answers to the questions that I just said, and she was afraid that she'd never hear them."

"Don't you think I want to know those answers, too? He was _my dad_, too! He might have the same DNA as me, but he was my dad. He left and broke my mom's heart, O's heart, and I'm so pissed off at him for doing that."

"He broke your heart, too." She whispered, stepping closer to wrap her arms around his middle. She pressed a kiss to the middle of his upper back, a gesture that was intended to be comforting, not romantic. "It's okay to admit that, you know?"

"Why? Why say that he hurt me by leaving when I was a kid? What will that do?"

"Maybe you'll stop feeling as pissed off at the world around you. Maybe you'll feel just a little bit better." She released him and moved around to stand in front of him. She picked up his hand and held it in both of her hands. "Maybe you'll feel like you can finally let someone in."

"Princess," he sighed, trying to pull his hand away, but she held on tightly. "There isn't-"

Clarke shook her head. She didn't mean anything romantic. Sure, she'd love that, because she definitely had feelings for him, but she would happily be his friend if that meant that he was healing in some way. "I didn't mean that. I meant a friend. Your whole world is Octavia, and I can guarantee that she knows nothing about the little tidbits of personal stuff you share with me. I can see it in your face that you feel better, you feel some relief, when you talk to me about all of this deep stuff you keep bottled up. I can be that for you. If you need to talk, then I will listen." He sighed, squeezing her hand once, and she knew that was the closest she was going to get to a thank you from him in that moment. "So, about that party."

"Uggh! No, you're not going."

"Bellamy, I'm seventeen, and I'm _not your sister_. You can't stop me." He swallowed, and they both knew just how much they were aware that she was not related to him.

"Well, I'm stuck escorting you everywhere, so…"

"So, it looks like we're going to a party then." She grinned at him. "Do you think that one of your friends' girlfriends have a hair dryer I can borrow?" He furrowed his brow at her, confused. "I can't go to a party dressed like this." She waved her hand at her jean capris, t-shirt, and Chucks. She rolled her eyes when continued to stare at her in confusion. "God, boys are so stupid." She marched out of his room in search of one of the girlfriends of his roommates.


	6. Chapter 6

Human

Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.**

**Author's Note: This chapter includes T+ material. It is in the second section, which will be blocked off by a line break. Avoid that part if you don't want to read it. Also, in case you were all wondering, the timeline for the story is as follows:**

**Chapter 1 - Clarke is 14, a freshman in high school; Bellamy is 17, senior at military school; it's mid-March, 2004.**

**Chapter 2 - Clarke is 16, a junior in high school; Bellamy is 18, freshman at Georgetown; it's mid-October, 2006.**

**Chapter 3 - Clarke is the same, but Bellamy is now 19 (his b-day is a November 1st), except it is mid-December, 2006.**

**Chapter 4 - Same ages as above, except it is 2 days before Valentine's Day, 2007.**

**Chapter 5 - Clarke is 17, a senior in high school; Bellamy is 19, sophomore at Georgetown; it's Friday, September 14, 2007.**

**Chapter 6 - This chapter is a continuation of September 14th/early September 15th.**

**I'm doing important moments in Clarke and Bellamy's lives over the years until it reaches modern day 2014/2015. **

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><p>Clarke could feel Bellamy's eyes on her as she and Lennon, Tucker's girlfriend, did shots. She could feel his eyes on her when she drank down a cup of the 'juice' in two gulps. She knew that it had a shit ton of alcohol in it, but somehow it only tasted by cherry fruit punch. She immediately got more of the juice, taking a few sips before she wandered over to where Lennon was standing with Jack's girlfriend, Janis, and the two other girls that lived in their apartment, Katie and Morgan. She felt his eyes on her when guys came up to flirt with her. What she didn't think he realized was that her eyes were always on him, as well.<p>

She watched him as he sipped his beer and chatted lazily with a couple of guys, all of whom she did not know. She watched him as he laughed when Doug tried to do a kegstand and fell over. She watched as he sent a wink to the guys he was talking with when a girl wandered passed him and gave him a flirty smile (that slut). She watched him as he talked to said girl, but she also saw the way that his smile didn't meet his eyes or the way that he discreetly darted his eyes towards her.

She remembered the way that he stared at her and then swallowed hard when she walked out of the Lennon, Janis, Katie, and Morgan's apartment with them. Lennon had loaned her a dress, which was tight and emphasized her two best assets, her chest and her rear. Her blond curls were styled in a loose knot at the base of her skull, with a few random strands falling here and there. She was wearing a pair of Katie's flats on her feet, and the girls had done her makeup so that she looked elegant, but still ready to party. She smiled at him, before interlocking her arm with Lennon as the two of them followed the other girls down the hall. She felt his eyes on her then, and she was sure that even when he was busy doing his own thing at the party, his eyes never really left her.

"Someone looks like he's about to lose it and fuck you in the middle of this party," Lennon teased, and Clarke cocked an eyebrow at her. "What's the deal with you and Bellamy, little one." She knew that coming from most people, the moniker would be an insult, but Lennon didn't mean it as such.

"There's nothing going on."

"Except Murphy's been going on and on about the little girl that Bellamy 'kissed' multiple times and that their mommies are trying to force them together or something." Katie said, sipping her drink. "He and Bell used to be friends, but then Murphy slept with a girl that Bell was fooling with, and the two got in a huge fight." Clarke swallowed, looking away from Katie.

"Shit, Katie, you upset her. She's obviously crazy about him." Janis said, rolling her eyes. "Ignore her, Clarke."

"Is it?" Clarke said, and her voice cracked. She cleared her throat, blushing. "Is it obvious how much I like him?"

"Yes, but only to us girls. I don't think guys notice anything until you're practically standing naked in front of them saying 'I want to fuck you.' Even then, you sometimes get a 'what?'" Lennon said with a laugh. Clarke smiled, and she discreetly shot a look at Bellamy who was still talking to the flirty smile girl, but her eyes locked with his, because he happened to be looking her way. She raised her hand and wiggled her fingers at him.

"Oh, yeah, he's got it bad." Morgan laughed, shaking her head. "Any other time, he'd already have disappeared with the flavor of the night, but he's not letting you out of his sight."

"It's cute, you know? I've never seen Bellamy crushing like this on a girl." Lennon added.

"Then why does he keep shutting down anything happening between us?" Clarke asked, chugging the last of her juice. She pouted at the empty cup.

"Because he's a dumbass?" Katie asked.

"Yes, he is." Clarke agreed. She was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol. She wasn't drunk, but she was definitely buzzed. She figured she should stop drinking and switch to water to help clear her head. "He keeps telling me that he's not good enough for me or whatever, but his sister's my best friend, and our moms are best friends because of O and I. So, if O and Aurora are good enough to be like a second family, why would I think he's not good enough to date me? Hell, my mom pushed for me to stay with him than to stay in a hotel tonight. That's gotta say something, right?"

"Shit, his little sister is your best friend? That's gotta be awkward." Morgan whistled. Clarke frowned, shaking her head.

"Not really."

"Like, what happens if you guys broke up? How would that affect you and his sister? How would that affect him and his sister? No wonder he's freaking out."

"Plus, there's gotta be something that makes him think he's not good enough," Lennon added. "If Bellamy's anything, it's confident. So, what's got him feeling less confident around you?" Clarke chewed her bottom lip.

"Well, there's definitely a noticeable income difference between Aurora and my mom." She shrugged her shoulders. "But, that's hardly a big deal. Aurora and my mom work it out. O and I work it out. Why would it matter in a dating relationship between him and I?"

"Because Bellamy's the type who probably thinks that the traditional is how things should go. Like, he's probably the type of guy who has to pay for everything." She rolled her eyes at Lennon.

"That's stupid, though. I don't want him to constantly buy me things. Honestly, I'd rather just sit on the couch watching a movie and eating pizza. And shove my tongue down his throat, because, damn it, he's a great kisser." The girls laughed.

"I'd want to do more than just kiss him…" Morgan said, with a wink. "He looks like he knows how to take care of a girl." Clarke blushed, biting her bottom lip. "Wait a second. Have you swiped your v-card yet, Miss Clarke?"

"Not for a lack of trying." Clarke muttered. "My ex, I was with him for a year and a half, and I practically threw myself at him all of the time. He said he wanted to wait, and then he cheated on me with another girl. I don't get it. There hasn't been anyone serious since."

"Well, shit, guys suck." Katie pouted. "I was a virgin until I started at college last year. I lost it to the TA for one of my Lit classes. God, he could spout Shakespeare with the best of them, but he blew in the sack." That made the five of them start giggling.

"I was a virgin until Tuck." Lennon said with a smile. "It was definitely worth the wait for him."

"Well, shit, I feel like the biggest slut. I lost mine freshman year of high school with a guy I went on three dates with." Morgan shrugged. "I'm not the commitment and flowers and soft music kind of gal. I'm the fool around while you're young type." Janis blushed.

"Guys, Jack and I haven't had sex yet." She squeaked, and all of them stared at her with wide eyes.

"Seriously? You spend the night with each other almost every night. For the last _year_!" Lennon gasped. Clarke had learned early on in the evening that Janis and Lennon had been roommates, and they became close friends with the girls in the dorm next to them (Katie and Morgan), and the four had decided to get an apartment together. They were one of the lucky few (along with Bellamy and his friends) to get one of the coveted four-person apartments in Henle that had two singles and one double room.

"I'm waiting for marriage, and Jack's cool with it. I mean, we do stuff, but we haven't had _sex-sex_." Janis shrugged.

"How far have you gone with a guy, Clarke?" Lennon turned her attention on the younger blond. Clarke blew out a breath.

"I gave Wells a blow job a few times, but that's about it. He never returned the favor. We pretty much stuck to hands only when we fooled around."

"Shit, that sucks." Morgan shook her head. "Guys are such douchebags. Well, my fingers are crossed for you and Bellamy. Maybe you could give him a nudge in that direction?"

"A nudge? How so?"

"Go make out with some guy?" Lennon suggested.

"I dunno. I don't want to play games." Clarke furrowed her brow, because out of the corner of her eye, she saw the girl go up on her toes and press her lips to Bellamy's ear. She was whispering something to him, and his eyes widened, so Clarke figured it was something of a sexual nature. "That's it. I'm so over this weird dance between him and I. I'm gonna go find some guy to make out with." She waved goodbye to the girls and wandered towards a group of guys. She smiled at one with dark hair, like Bellamy's, but it in no way looked as soft. "Hi, I'm Clarke."

"Brent."

"Brent, nice to meet you." She felt his eyes on her, so she kept going. "Wanna get me a drink, Brent?" He cocked an eyebrow at her, and she bit her bottom lip. "Please?"

"Sure, I'll get you a drink." Brent guided her away from his friends, towards the drinks. He began to pour her a drink, and she let out a breath, because she saw the way that Bellamy's hand tightened on his beer bottle so much that it made his knuckles turn white. She saw him brush off the flirty smile girl, and he moved closer to her and Brent. Well, this was sort of going to plan.

Brent handed her the drink, and Clarke raised it to her lips. "So, what's your major, Brent?"

"Computer science. What about you, Clarke?" She opened her mouth to speak, but Bellamy's gruff voice answered for her.

"Dude, she's seventeen and still in high school. Time to find some other girl to pray on." Clarke glared at Bellamy as Brent quickly excused himself.

"Hey! I was talking to him and having fun! Can't you just let me have a little fun!" Bellamy reached for her cup, pulling it from her hands. "Give that back!"

"You've had enough fun for the night."

"Screw you, Bellamy. Stop acting like my big brother and leave me alone. I'm _not_ your sister." She said it again, emphasizing to him that she definitely didn't see him as family, despite the fact that she considered his sister to be her sister and his mother to be her second mother.

"I'm not acting like you're brother." He snapped, grimacing as he downed her drink. He had lost his beer in the process of . "God, this tastes like shit."

"Then, what are you doing? You're taking this 'take care of your minor guest' thing a little too seriously. I want to have fun, and you're acting like a wet blanket."

"You're seventeen!" He snapped. She shook her head.

"So? You weren't partying at seventeen?" His jaw tensed, but he didn't say anything. "Why do you keep bringing up my age, Bellamy? I know how old I am." She saw him freeze, and she smiled inwardly. She took a step forward. "The age of consent in D.C. is sixteen, with a close-in-age clause of four years." She said, with a shrug of her shoulders. "So, Brent wouldn't get in trouble if he and I were to hook up."

"Princess," he was practically snarling, and she could feel the tension pouring off of him in waves. "In Virginia, it's eighteen." She swallowed, because he'd looked into it. He'd looked into whether or not it was legal for them to get together. Oh, fuck it, she thought. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips against his. He groaned, wrapping his arms around her middle, pulling her tightly against his chest. She smiled into the kiss, and she felt him return it as he sucked on her bottom lip.

After a few minutes of making out by the drinks, with the cheers from Lennon, Janis, Katie, and Morgan in the background, Bellamy pulled out of the kiss. Clarke pouted, trying to follow him. "We've got to stop doing this," he said, but it was half-hearted, because she succeeded in kissing him once more.

"Uh-huh," she mumbled against his lips, sliding her hands into his hair. "Totally have to stop…"

"Right, totally." He responded, kissing her more firmly. She could taste the alcohol on his tongue, and she knew he could taste the same on her. It was why she said what she said next.

"I think you should take me back to your room." She said, breaking the kiss to stare into his eyes.

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><p>Clarke wasn't nervous when Bellamy finally guided her into his room in his apartment. Even though the apartments were only a few floors apart, the walk from the party location to his apartment was slow and tension filled. His fingers were interlaced with hers, and she noticed that he was holding onto hers tightly, as if he let her go, she'd change her mind and disappear. Except, she wasn't going to change her mind. She'd wanted this moment, <em>with him<em>, since the first time she laid her eyes on him, even if she was only fourteen, and she wasn't going to deny herself it any longer. She was going to have sex with him, and it was going to be perfect.

He opened the door to his room, but blocked her entrance. "Are you sure?" He asked her, and she rolled her eyes. She went up on her toes and kissed him once more. The kiss wasn't as heated as their kisses in the past, but she definitely showed him just how much she wanted this, wanted him. They kissed for awhile in the doorway before she finally pushed him gently backwards and into his room. He kicked the door shut behind them, separating from her just for a moment. He walked to his bed and pulled the things he had stacked there from its surface, placing them on the floor. Aside from her pillow. He left that up where his pillows were.

Clarke watched Bellamy's slow and deliberate movements, and it was clear that he was giving her time to back out if she wanted to. She rolled her eyes once again, reaching up to pull her hair loose and placed the hair tie onto his desk. She ran her fingers through her hair, untangling the curls from each other, watching him as he walked over to where his iPod was docked into the mini-speakers set. She slid her feet from the borrowed shoes and slowly removed her jewelry, placing it on the desk by her hair tie.

She reached behind herself and tugged at the zipper of her dress, watching as he finally found the song that he wanted to play while they had sex. She grinned, slipping out of the dress, which she draped over the chair that he had draped her laptop bag on earlier. He turned around and swallowed, taking in the sight of her in the strapless lace bra and matching thong set that she bought at Nordstrom. She twirled a blond curl around her finger. "Holy shit. O wasn't kidding about your lingerie thing." His voice was deep and husky as his eyes painted over her form. She shook her head at him. "You brought this with you this weekend? Was this your plan all along?" He said after he cleared his throat.

"No," she took a step towards him, and she saw him tighten his hands into fists. It was really cute to her how nervous _he_ seemed. "I just like lingerie. It makes me feel sexy to wear lingerie, even under a t-shirt and jeans. I don't own a single pair of crappy, grannypanties or a just-to-lounge-around kind of bra. I only own lingerie."

"Yeah, okay." He nodded, swallowing again. She smiled at him.

"Are you going to come over to me, or should I go to you?" She was unsure how to go about this, but she knew that they wouldn't be able to have sex with four feet between them. He let out a breath and took a step forward.

"I'll, um, come to you." He closed the distance between them, but he still left a little space, not daring to touch her yet, as he took in her form. She was the one to touch him first, raising her hand to rest her hand on his cheek.

"You can touch me." It was surreal, because she technically had never done anything like this really, but he was acting like the fumbling virgin. His hand moved, finding her hip before stopping. She opened her mouth to speak again, urging him to do more than just touch her hip, but his hand began its feather-light ascent along the curve of her side to settle on her rib cage just below her breast. She shuddered, because it felt so good, and she let her eyes fall shut. She let him slowly explore the skin of her stomach, her back, and her sides, but his hands never strayed anywhere near where she wanted them most. He ran his fingers across her collarbones, up and down her neck, down her arms to her fingers and back again. He explored each inch of exposed skin with his fingers, and she looking forward to doing the same to him.

Clarke opened her eyes and reached for Bellamy's shirt. He let her pull the shirt up, exposing his chest to her gaze. He helped her pull the shirt off of him completely, and she stepped forward, closing the remaining space between them. She laid a kiss onto his chest, her fingers doing their own exploration of his chest, stomach, and sides. He tangled his hands into her hair, guiding her mouth to his. The kiss was sweet, she thought to herself, nothing like what she expected from Bellamy right before he had sex with someone. She hoped it meant that she was different, but she didn't dare voice this hope. She, instead, settled into the kiss. After a few moments, she stroked her hands down the front of him to unbutton his pants. The zipper was pulled down not too long after, and she slid her hand inside of his pants to touch him over his boxers. "Shit, Clarke." He breathed out her name, breaking the kiss to look at her hand. She looked up at him, biting her bottom lip. She loved that he used her first name.

"You called me Clarke." He scratched the back of his head.

"Well, that's your name."

"You've never called me Clarke. You've always called me Princess. Well, there was those brief moments when you called me kid, and I so prefer Princess to that, but I like hearing you call me Clarke." She squeezed his erection slightly in her hand, earning a groan in response. "I _really_ like it when you call me Clarke."

"You don't think Princess is a term of endearment at this point?" He asked, jerking his hips as she moved her hand over him, up and down, in a slow, steady pace. "Fuck, you gotta stop that for a second."

"I don't want to." She said in response, smirking at him as she sped up her pace slightly, enjoying the quiet moans he let out. "I think Princess is fine, when you're not trying to make it sound like an insult, but I love hearing you call me Clarke." She stood on her toes to whisper in her ear. "It really turns me on." She flicked her tongue along his ear, and it seemed to snap him out of whatever haze he was in before. He gathered her in his arms, and pushed her back towards the bed. She fell back onto it with a giggle, sliding her frame up it until her head was lying on the pillows. She could smell his scent all over the sheets and pillows, and she was so looking forward to having her own pillow smell like him when she returned home. He didn't follow her, but instead, slid his pants down, leaving him in nothing but a pair of gray boxer briefs.

Clarke loved looking at Bellamy's body. He was muscular, but not overly so. He took care of himself, she could tell, and she hoped that he found her as equally attractive. She wasn't as slender as the flirty smile girl, nor as Lennon and the other girls. She was curvy, with a fuller stomach and thighs, but she felt sexy in her lingerie, and the way his eyes combed over her sprawled out form in an almost predatory fashion, she knew that he was attracted to her. She used her index finger to make a come hither motion. He climbed onto the bed, kneeling on either side of her thighs, staring down at her.

"Are you sure about this, Clarke?" She sat up, pressing a kiss to the skin a few inches above his belly button, since that was in reach of her mouth before she leaned back and unhooked her bra. She pulled it away from her body and leaned back on her elbows. "Fuck," he muttered, falling on top of her to kiss her, _hard_.


	7. Chapter 7

Human

Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything familiar.**

**Author's Note: T+ rating for the first paragraph. This chapter is takes place in mid-September once again, and then in early October at the end of the chapter. Please let me know what you think.**

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><p>Clarke felt like her entire body was on fire, and she couldn't think of anything beyond the heat of Bellamy's bare chest against hers. The kiss was intoxicating, and she moaned quietly against his lips as his hands finally found her breasts. He began massaging them, kneading them, pinching her nipples. This was the way she always imagined her first sexual experience to go, but with Wells, all she got was a few hard squeezes before he guided her hand into his pants. It wasn't exactly the sexiest thing. Bellamy, on the other hand, knew what to do to make her feel good.<p>

She reached for his boxers, ready to push them down, when the worst thing imaginable happened. The fire alarm went off. He jerked off of her, looking around. "Is this really happening?" He asked as they heard the muffled sound of the fire alarms going off in the hallway.

"If we weren't in this position right now, I'd think that it'd be funny to watch all the drunks try to stumble out of the building without looking drunk." She rubbed a hand over her face. "We better get-" The fire alarm in his room started wailing, making them both cover their ears. It was unbelievably loud, making her head swim. He pulled off of her completely, holding out a hand to her. She groaned, standing up with a pout on her lips. He sighed, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips before shoving his t-shirt into her hands. As she pulled it on, she smiled at the fact that it smelled like him. He moved to his drawers, grabbing a spare pair of gym shorts, which he tossed to her. She liked wearing his clothes, she thought to herself as she watched him as he pulled a t-shirt and shorts on over his boxers. They both shoved their feet into shoes (her in her flip flops and him in a pair of sneakers with no socks). Just as they were about to walk out the door of his room, she looked down and realized just how obvious it looked that they'd been fooling around. "I need a bra or a jacket!" She yelled to him over the loud clanging of the alarm.

Bellamy rushed over to his closet, grabbing a sweatshirt jacket from a hanger, which he brought over to Clarke. "Here you are, Princess." She grinned, pulling the jacket on and zipping it up. She looked down, and it was much less obvious that she was braless. Together, they walked out hand in hand, following the trail of other Henle inhabitants out of the building.

"Clarke, Bellamy!" She saw Lennon waving them over, and the two walked over to her, Tucker, and the rest of the group. "We're glad you're both okay. We weren't sure where you all disappeared to." Lennon said, a single eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips. Bellamy groaned, his head falling back, whereas Clarke chuckled.

"Oh, shut it," she said with an eye roll.

"Girl, I just love your outfit. There's just something so..._familiar_ about it." Lennon continued, making Bellamy roll his eyes. He pressed a kiss to the top of Clarke's head, before walking away from the girls, muttering something about there being too much estrogen present, and he might grow a vagina. The boys followed him, like he was their king. "Uggh, if it weren't for the fact that I'm secure in my relationship with Tuck, I'd think that he'd go gay for Bellamy."

"I think that Bellamy would go gay for them, too." Clarke chuckled. "Look at them trail after him like he's the king of Henle."

"He sort of is," Morgan said, with a shrug. "Like, he plans a lot of the group gatherings and stuff. Granted, the guys will veto anything they really don't want to do, but usually it is stuff that they all enjoy doing, and Bellamy is just sorta voicing it and leading the charge."

"It's probably because of his going military school." Clarke said with a shrug. "Non-stop JROTC training will do that to you."

"Bellamy was in military school?" Lennon asked, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, Fishburne. It's one of the top military schools in Virginia. Octavia, his sister and my friend, told me that he was a part of the Raiders and the Marksmanship teams. The raiders train in all kinds of physical stuff, and the marksmanship team is for shooting. He's like a mini-soldier. I was honestly surprised when O said that Bellamy chose to go to Georgetown rather than go into the marine corp or something."

"No wonder he's got the body of a god…" Morgan sighed, making the other girls laugh. "So, what were you guys up to?" She said it in a knowing voice, meaning that the younger blond saying it wasn't going to do anything more than confirm what they all knew.

Clarke let out a breath. "We were going to have sex." The second she said it out loud, she suddenly sobered up to the reality and the implications that that statement had. They were going to have _sex_? She never had any expectations about sex, and she figured that when she had sex the first time, she'd know she was ready. She thought she was ready with Wells, but then he wound up cheating on her. Now, here she was, about to have sex with Bellamy for the first time, and the fire alarm went off. Was that a sign that they shouldn't be doing it?

She always thought that when she had sex for the first time, she'd immediately be able to tell O that it happened. Well, not immediately, like the guy pulled out, and she rolled over to grab her cell phone to text her best friend that the deed was done. No, that wasn't what she had in mind, but what she really thought would happen was that they'd have sex, and she would stay with the guy for a while-overnight, maybe, preferably-and then the next morning after they said their goodbyes, she would drive to O's, and they'd laugh and eat ice cream and talk about how gross and weird and special the moment was. She couldn't do that with Bellamy, because he was O's brother. Her best friend's brother.

"Uh-oh." Lennon said, wrapping an arm around Clarke's shoulders. "I know that look. What's going on?"

"It suddenly got weird that he's O's brother. Like, she's my best friend, and when I thought about having sex for the first time, I thought about how I could immediately go to my best friend to talk to her about it. I can't exactly do that with Bellamy. Like, how do I explain to her that he and I slept together when the last time she and I spoke, I was complaining and whining about having to stay with Bellamy because our moms planned it out."

"Yeah, that's a sticky situation to be in." Janis reached for Clarke's hand, squeezing it in hers. "But, if you really like him, and you see a future with him, then maybe you should see where it goes." She paused, letting her words sink in. "And, maybe you should take sex out of the equation until you're sure that you're ready to have sex with _him_."

"But how do I just stop it just as it began? I'm a bundle of horny nerves right now. It's not like I'm not sexually attracted to him!"

"I'm sexually attracted to Jack, but he and I are committed to seeing where our relationship evolves to. He and I have known each other for just as long as Tuck and Lennon, but our relationship is different from theirs. For us, we're not ready to take that step. For now, we're waiting. But that doesn't mean that I love him any less or that I don't want him as much as the next girl wants to have sex with their boyfriend."

Clarke knew that Janis was right, and she knew what she had to do. When she and Bellamy went back inside his apartment, they would _not_ be having sex, but she hoped that they could continue to see where this was going between them. Maybe they could have the stay at home date that she had been telling the girls about earlier-well, minus the pizza, because it was nearly two in the morning, but popcorn and a movie and kissing.

She glanced over to where Bellamy and the boys were talking, and he looked over at her after he felt her eyes on him. His eyes immediately found hers, and he smiled at her. She smiled back. Just as he started towards her, the crowd of students were alerted that they could go back inside. He walked towards her, and she walked towards him. He held out his hand to her, and she interlaced their fingers together. Lennon caught up to them. "Hey, give me your number." She was holding her phone in her hand. "You're fun, little one. The next time you're in our neck of the woods, I'd love to get a coffee, okay?"

"Sure," Clarke smiled, telling the older girl her number. "And, if you ever feel the need to get super bored, you're more than welcome to come hang out with a bunch of high school seniors." She winked at Lennon. "We're a real riot."

"That's the truth. I've seen a few girls' nights of Clarke and O's. It involves nail painting, face masks, talking about sex and boys, and making fun of movies." She glared at Bellamy.

"You've never seen me in a face mask." She told him, shaking her head. "And, you never will."

"But, I've seen your cute fuzzy slippers and your flannel pee-jays with cartoon characters on them."

"You guys are cute, and let me tell you, Blake, girls do that no matter their ages, okay? Those kind of girls nights are not unique to high school girls." Lennon told him. "Well, we'll talk in the morning guys. You've got your tour, right? Maybe we'll all go on the tour with you two and get lunch afterwards."

"I'd like that." Clarke smiled at Lennon who skipped away, jumping on Tuck's back, who nearly fell over, making the couple laugh as they held on tight to each other. "They're cute."

"Yeah, they make the relationship thing not look that bad." She squeezed his hand. "So…" She knew he was unsure what she was thinking about in terms of where they left off before the fire alarm took place.

"So, I was thinking that maybe we shouldn't." She said quietly. She felt him tense slightly, before the tension slipped from him. She knew there was a part of him who was disappointed, just as there was a part of her that was, too. "I just think that you and I were so caught up in our usual game with each other, seeing who could push the other farther, but _when_ we have sex, I want it to because we want to be with each other for the right reasons." He glanced over at her.

"When?"

"_When_." Clarke confirmed, stopping in the middle of the hallway. They were two of the last people to enter the building, so the few people that were trailing in after them just walked past them, leaving them all alone. "I like you, Bellamy. You know that, right? I don't want this to be some random hookup." Bellamy smiled down at her before he leaned down and gently kissed her. He pulled back, and she wrapped her arms around his middle.

"I like you, too." His voice was quiet, and she knew that it was strange for him to finally admit those words out loud. "And, I think you're right." He said, making her lift her head from where she was resting it against his chest to study his face. "About the sex thing. We should wait. Probably figure out how to tell O first…"

Clarke widened her eyes and grimaced at Bellamy. "Yeah, that's gonna be rough. I'm not sure yet what we should do about that...maybe we could, like, _date_ for a little bit first?"

"You want to keep this from my sister?"

"Yeah, like, maybe we should make sure that this is something we really want."

"There's a possibility for you that you don't want to date me?"

"No, I do, but I also know it's gonna be tough, because you're in college, and I'm in high school. I live three hours away. There's so many issues involved with it."

"I guess that makes sense." He pulled her by the hand, recommencing their travel to his apartment once again.

"Are you mad?"

"No." She couldn't tell, though, if he was lying to her.

"We have to be honest with each other."

"I am being honest."

"But, I just...I think if you said that you wanted to keep me a secret from O, I'd be suspicious or hurt or confused, so it's okay if _you_ feel that way after me saying it. I'd like to explain it better, if that is what you're feeling. I don't want you to feel any of that."

"Clarke," he stopped, turning to face her. He shook his head at her. "I'm not mad. I do get where you're coming from, but a huge part of me does want to practically scream it from the roof tops." He paused, brow furrowed. "A very small, but still super manly part of me." She chuckled, rolling her eyes at him. "I wish that things weren't complicated, but I get it. My sister can be..._temperamental_."

"To say the least."

"So, yeah, I'm with you. We'll just keep it between us for a while, until we know for sure that we work."

"Do you think we won't work?" She asked when they finally arrived at his apartment.

"Well, I'd like to hope so." She let out a breath of relief.

"Me, too."'

"I'm glad to hear it, Princess." She raised the back of his hand to her mouth, pressing a kiss there.

* * *

><p>Clarke was sitting in her bedroom sketching Bellamy's face in her sketchbook. It had been two weeks since she had spent the night at the Georgetown campus with Bellamy. Two wonderful weeks of texting and late night phone calls, private messages on Facebook, and discreet emails. They hadn't been face-to-face in sixteen days, but their 'dating' was going rather swimmingly in her opinion. She used her finger to smudge the dark pencil to fill in a line on his nose. "Hey, Clarke." She jumped, dropping the sketchbook shut as Octavia waltzed into the room, texting on her phone. She set aside her sketchbook and wiped her hands on the dirty towel that she always kept on her end table.<p>

"Hey, O. What's up?" O sighed, dropping onto the bed beside her.

"I think that Bellamy has a girlfriend." Clarke's eyes widened.

"Oh, really? Isn't girlfriend code for just a fuck-buddy." The words felt heavy and weird on her tongue for two reasons. First, since she began 'dating' Bellamy, she'd started using a hell of a lot more foul language. It was one thing she _didn't_ like about their union, but whatever. Secondly, she essentially called herself and Bellamy sluts by referring to their relationship as being nothing more than fuck-buddies.

"You're never allowed to spend twenty-four hours with my brother again. You're starting to get the Blake pouty mouth. Even _I_ couldn't get that from you." O said with a head shake. "Anyways, this one seems different." Clarke fought to keep the grin of her face. She was different? She was _different_.

"How so?"

"I dunno. It's like he's nicer or something. Or, like, _softer_."

"Isn't that a good thing, though? That the relationship is making him better."

"No, it sucks." Octavia complained, and Clarke shot her a shocked look. "I called him to complain about Micah, and he's all, 'maybe you should talk to him' and 'honesty is important in a relationship' and all that bullshit." Clarke smiled slightly, because he was giving his sister the same information that they had been talking about the night of the party. "Don't smile like that! I wanted to hear my brother threaten to cut off Micah's balls, not to hear practical and actually helpful advice. I go to him to vent and laugh when he threatens bodily harm to my boyfriend. I go to you when I know what I need to do and just need to hear someone else confirm it. It's like you two have switched personalities or something."

Clarke chuckled, wrapping her arms around her friend, and the two of them snuggled back into Clarke's pillows. "O, I'm going to say something that you might not want to hear." She paused, and O sighed, grumbling about this being exactly what she meant. "I think it is a good thing that your brother is growing up a little. How awesome would it be if you and I were to ever get into a fight, and you could actually get good advice from Bellamy rather than hearing, 'Princess is a stuck up bitch. Just get over it.'" She was sure that is what he would say to O before they had started whatever it was that they were doing. They weren't officially in a relationship, so she wasn't exactly his _girlfriend_ yet, but she did take pride in helping him grow up a little.

"Yeah, but we'll never fight. Even when we fight, we don't fight." O said with an eyeroll. "What were you sketching?"

"Oh, just a picture of that guy that I met at Georgetown." Clarke hadn't been able to keep that something happened while she was with Bellamy that weekend, but she couldn't tell O _who_ it was, so she just made up a lie about meeting a guy and that they've been texting.

"Right. Can I look at it?" O reached for the sketchbook, but Clarke stopped her. "It's not done. Maybe when I've finished?"

"Oh, so secretive!" O said, with her eyes flashing. "What's his name again?"

"Um…" Clarke blushed. "Brent. His name is Brent. Computer science major."

"Huh...I never expected that. That doesn't seem like your type." Clarke glanced over at O in surprise.

"You don't even know him. What are you talking about?"

"It's just you gravitate more towards guys that are more, I dunno how to say it, um, more _bossy_? They're...the class clown, or the student body president, or what have you. Some kind of leader, whether its the good kind or the bad kind." She blushed, thinking back to how Lennon and the other girls had referred to Bellamy as the king of their group, and she had talked about his time in military school had encouraged his leadership skills.

"And Brent isn't like that?"

"He's a computer science major."

"So? What does that have to do with anything?" Clarke asked, confused. "How does being a computer science major make you less of a leader."

"It's a job that means hiding behind a computer and hardware and schoolbooks. In careers, they don't have as much interaction with people."

"Your brother is studying history," she pretended to throw it out as an example. "That's hiding behind schoolbooks."

"Bellamy is a double major in history and government, and he has aspirations to be a lawyer. I'd hardly lump him in with this Brent guy."

"Why are you shitting all over Brent?"

"Because I don't know him. I want to make sure that he's good for my girl." Clarke let out a breath.

"Believe me, O, you'd approve of this guy. He's a good guy, and you'd love him." She almost wanted to say that her best friend already did love him.


End file.
